My Thoughts on: Princess Peach vs Princess Zelda

Now I know this is a little bit of a girly topic but these are the two biggest royal names in Nintendo history. Both of them have their own kingdoms with Princess Peach having the Mushroom Kingdom (Drug Addict) and Princess Zelda having Hyrule. Now this is going be like a fight between Zelda and Peach but not like a super smash type fight. I am going to break down categories and then score them on it. Categories will include Ranking in the royal family, Kingdoms, abilities, helpfulness, Heroes, and other. So lets get started with Princess Peach and her rank in the Royal Family.

Royal Rank:
Now there are only two reasons someone is a princess. Either they are under a king and queen or its because it sounds pretty. Well Peach seems to fall under the "because it sounds pretty" category because as far as I know there is not Kind of the Mushroom Kingdom. The whole not having a King would make Peach the Queen. If Peach was queen making all the big decision for her Kingdom then I don't think it would be hard to say that the Kingdom will be screwed. This rank also has a lot to do with smarts and seeing as all she seems to do is invite Mario for cake and get kidnaped she would have no time for ruling things.

So Peaches score for this category: 1 out of 10 Harsh but as a ruler shes worthless. Even in the Epic "There Will Be Brawl" they she was incompetent as canned tuna.

Royal Rank:
Princess Zelda is the other side of the spectrum as far as I am concerned. There is actually a king in Hyrule. As stated in several games and also shown in some. He was even a character in the Legend of Zelda cartoon that was on with Super Mario Bros Super Show. However he seems to be the stupid one in most versions (Wind Waker he seemed smart). Now Zelda has been seen leading her people through crisis even willing to fight for her kingdom. So with a King Zelda is actually a princess not just someone who thinks the name sounds pretty. Zelda is a wise ruler helped with the power of the Triforce of Wisdom.

So for a rank I would have to give her an 8 out of 10. She is a good leader but I don't think she is as good as with war but she is a smart leader who knows what she is doing and is an ok war leader but not great.

Kingdoms:
Peach is the ruler of Mushroom Kingdom which is supposed to be a big place. There isn't much of a problem with crime other then Bowser and his minions. Yes thats bad but it seems Bowser's threat level is down a lot. Seeing as they play sports and go go carting together. However the Mushroom Kingdom isn't perfect but its not in a sad state. The businesses seem to be doing fine especially cake factory and the item shops.
So Mushroom Kingdom gets a 7 out of 10. The lower score is because they don't seem to have a legal system seeing as Bowser is out and Kidnaping the Princess on a regular basis.

Kingdoms:
Zelda is the ruler of Hyrule Kingdom. Now the threats to Hyrule are much bigger then Bowser is. Between Ganondorf and the stupid purple guy constantly trying to take over the world. Zelda has some major problems to take care of. However it is often in a sad state with Ganondorf/Ganon's Minions crawling all over the place attacking people. Often having the capital city taken over. In some games you can see people dying in the streets. So even though I would rather live in Hyrule then the Mushroom Kingdom it seems that the latter choice would be safer.

Ranking 6 out of 10 because the place is just not safe most of the time.

Abilities:
Princess Peach has two special abilities and thats being cute and being the Princess. Now thats really it she doesn't have any magical powers or anything just her good looks her title and her mushy brain. She has convinced two plumbers to save her kingdom that probably involved a lot of "cake".

Ranking: 2 out of 10 is it really that surprising.

Abilities:
Princess Zelda is again on the other side of the spectrum. She has magical abilities, the Triforce of Wisdom, as well being on of the seven sages. She uses her magic to help her kingdom by making wise choices as well as helping with the defense. Zelda is a very powerful woman with mighty magic as well as being agile and strong. When Ganondorf took over Hyrule she used her magic to become Sheik so she can help the people of Hyrule with out detection. While Sheik she changes eye color, body shape, and even her sex. This shows how powerful her magic is as well how weird she must be to want to hide as a dude (seriously thats kind of strange).

Ranking Zelda gets a 10 out of 10. How can she get any less she is a sage enough said really.

Helpfulness:
Do I really have to go into how unhelpful Peach is. She has helped Mario only a little bit. She just continues to invite Mario for "cake" and get kidnaped. She is pointless as anything other then someone to get kidnaped.

Ranking 1 out of 10. No way to make this better.

Helpfulness:
Zelda is a wise leader who has in one way or another helped Link many times. Yes she does often play the Damsel in Distress but she is also helpful before she gets captured. She will teach you things that will prove helpful as well as give you items that will save your butt. She even actively helped you in some games.

Ranking: 8 out of 10. She does often get captured and doesn't do to much work to help but is very helpful.

Heroes:
Peach and Zelda are equal in heroes Mario and Link are both very good heroes saving the kingdoms regularly. They both are very competent knowing how to help everyone and being willing to do it. Mario can't seem to cut through Peach's crap (he should just let Bowser have her). Link on the other hand feels more honor bound to help out. He has a destiny about him and he is willing to go along with it to save his home land. Mario and Link both get high ranking.

Mario 9.5 out of 10 because he should just let Peach stay with Bowser
Link 10 out of 10. He is just that good he is well versed with many weapons and can handle any situation.


Peach: 20.5
Zelda: 41
So Zelda wins this battle and well isn't this obvious out come. Zelda is smarter, better warrior, as well as better looking (am I wrong). Where Peach is stupid and bubble headed using her underling to do the Royal thing so she can have "Cake" with Mario. (yes cake is being used for sex in case you didn't catch it. Its a Yahtzee joke from his review for Super Mario Galexy 2) Now to be honest there are more then one princess Zelda's compared to Princess Peach but Zelda still deserves the Win.