Disclaimer: This is done for fun and there isn't any actual connection between what is said in this article and the real character. I do not own this character or the Legend of Zelda series they are owned by Nintendo. If I did own it then I probably would not be writing this.
Welcome my dear friends to another installment of The Legend of Zelda Files with your host Andy Balbac. I am Andy Balbac and I will take you deep into the background of one of the greatest franchises (the greatest in this non egotistical reporters humble opinion.) Todays interview comes from an enemy from Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask. We will talk to a man called Wizrobe. Or is it the Wizrobe? Maybe a Wizrobe? Well regardless lets get into the interview.
Me: "Mr. Wizrobe thank you for meeting with me today. However it would have been nice if you wouldn't have attacked me when I got here."
Wizrobe: "Yea I am sorry about that I have been very paranoid lately."
Me: "Paranoid why are you paranoid"
Wizrobe: "It all started a while ago when some pointy eared kid dressed in green burst into my house."
Me: "That sounds like Link. What happened next."
Wizrobe: "This Link kid breaks into my room with a sword and shield as well as a bunch of other weapons. I felt like he was going to try to kill me and I defended myself the best I could."
Me: "It was always made to seem that you attacked first. Is this just claiming you are just an innocent person Link attacked un provoked."
Wizrobe: "Yes I am one of the many good natured creatures that monster has harmed for no reason."
Me: "So what happened after he attacked you?"
Wizrobe: "I tried to defend myself as best as I could but that monster kept trying to slash at me with his sword and he was even shooting arrows at me."
Me: "Thats just awful please continue"
Wizrobe: "Well he ended up defeating me and then he stole my......"
Me: "Its ok you can tell me what happened."
Wizrobe: "He stole my precious fire arrows from me."
Me: "Oh I did not know that I am sorry that happened."
Wizrobe: "It would have been ok if he only did this once but no it happens about six times."
Me: "How can he keep getting away with this?"
Wizrobe: "He has the backing of some big company Nintendo I think who covers up all of his illegal activities."
Me: "Big Business strikes again."
Wizrobe: "I know its terrible but someone needed to speak out against this monster."
Me: "Don't you think that might be dangerous."
Wizrobe: Yes it could very easily get me killed but as long as this interview makes it to air it will be worth it."
Me: "You are a very brave man for sticking up for the injustices that this Link has committed."
Wizrobe: "Thank you."
Me: "Can I ask you one more question?"
Wizrobe: "Sure."
Me: "Why is your name spelt Wizrobe instead of Wizzrobe like to rest of them?"
Wizrobe: "It was a typo and I just decided to go with it."
Me: "Oh no tragic story about it huh?"
Wizrobe: "Nope."
Me: "Well then thank you for meeting with me today please keep in touch and we will be sure this story gets out."
"That was the last we ever heard from Wizrobe as he was killed soon after this interview. An eye witnessed happened to see him being attacked by a figure completely covered in a brown robe wielding two blades coming out of his arms. No one saw the attackers face but he made quick work of Wizrobe. However he died for a good cause and the interview made it to air and I am going to be just fine."
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