"He they hi there ho there my friendsarenios I am the fantablous (no no no no that was a stupid word I should do that again) I am the best thing since the first thing and I go by the name of Deadpool (thats a better opening.) Welcome to "My Thoughts On" some random super person and today we are talking about Wolverine. Now let me tell you me and Wolve go way back but it does my heart (I think I have one of those anyway) good to see him the resident Marvel Bad Ass at number eight on the list (Maybe this Wombat guy isn't as much of a loser as I thought......okay he still is a huge loser but never mind.) So I guess he wants me to tell you all why Wolverine is Awesome and such huh well I might do that or maybe I might make fun of him....or both"
"So let us start with the funniest part of this whole thing......James hahahahah yes James. Marvel's "Bad Ass" went from an awesome name like Logan which just sounds cool to James Howlett. The name just sounds really stupid. I mean if he wanted to be cool he should have gone with a name like Wade Wilson (That name just screams manilyness.) So James (hahaha) was born in Canada (the second coolest thing to come out of Canada) in the early 19th century (Wow he is a lot older then he looks I wonder what kind of anti aging cream he uses.) He has fought in most of the great wars. World War I, World War II, The War on Terror, The War on Drugs, and War and Peace. Some of those may not have been factual but to be honest I don't really care. He served along side of Captain America in World War II (then again so did I....don't believe me check Cable and Deadpool issue #45. By the way I no longer have someone telling me when I can break the fourth wall. Is that right Andy Mighty-Wombat Balbac thats right I know who you are.) "
"Now I know what your thinking how does someone born in the really early 19th century life to fight through both of the World Wars. Well if you really don't know then you probably don't know who Wolverine is and probably aren't reading this and that means I'm not really talking to anyone and I should probably shut up.....Okay on to his powers. So yea Wolverine has a natural healing factor (Okay so mine is just modeled after his but if you make fun of me for it I will find you and you don't want to know what will happen then.) So yes healing factor so he basically he can't die and that is how he survived so long. He also has heightened senses like smell hearing and eyesight (Boring I know) however the cool part about his powers is the fact that he has bone claws that come out between his knuckles (Yes bone not Adamantium those come later.) The super fancy metal was added to his bones by our good friends at the Weapon X program (Such a great band of evil butchering monsters how I love hating them.) So now Wolverine is a indestructible killing machine and he is mad. (This is the best part of the story) he goes on a killing spree destroying the Weapon X facility and many of the people there (The entrails were every where, and it took the Janitor a long time to get it all cleaned up.) So now Wolverine is the bad ass you know and love he ends up joining the X-Men (He claims he is the best at what he does, and what he does ain't nice. I say however that I am the best at what Wolverine does.)"
"What you might not know is the Wolverine walks around the real world as actor Hugh Jackman. This was made obvious by him portraying Wolverine in the X-Men movies. (Thankfully using this logic it means I am Ryan Reynolds under this mask.) Jackman has been trying to hide this by acting as other characters in other movies and even host the Oscars (I won an Oscar once okay more stole an Oscar but I still have one.) I am close to catching Mr. Jackman and revealing his secret to the world, however several restraining orders and the fact that I am a comic book character is holding me back (I have to put all of my faith into Ryan to get the job done for me.)"
"Now I the great and mysterious Deadpool have gone up against Wolverine several times (Winning sometimes even.......I mean I always win ALWAYS!!!!) Right I have to keep my thoughts under control (Chocolate Pudding.) I guess that won't work. Fighting Wolverine even helped me clear up some insanity with the help of Dr. Bong (But that is a story for another day.)"
"Okay I am tired of talking about the old fur ball. However I will keep going on my hunt of Hugh Jackman (I must not let my fictional character status stop me from my mission.) So I am going to sign off on this "My Thoughts On" with a word of advice. "When all else fails blow something up" So that is all I have to say about the Mutton Chopped on named Wolverine."
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