"Hello my good citizens I am the Tick the sworn protector of The City. The Mighty Wombat and I did a little switcheroo and I am now writing to you fine smelling people about The Tick and well to be honest I dislike that guy. He tried to steal my identity and then tried to kill me over it. I mean geash what did I ever do to him."
Random person: "whisper whisper whisper"
The Tick: "Whats that?"
Random person: "Whisper whisper whisper whisper"
The Tick: "Your saying this isn't about the Tick who owns that night club"
Random Person: "Whisper whisper whisper"
The Tick: "Ohhhh this is about me well I would be a monkey great grand father. Why thank you whoever you are. Well it looks like I have made a mistake well you know when you mess up you should take a look a the test and check that answer wrong."
Random Person: "Your strange"
The Tick: "Thank you my friend you are to. Well that was weird I wonder who that guy was well no need for thinking now my friends. Let use Hug our destiny and talk about me The Tick.
"I am going to start this talking to and about myself with an awesome intro so her I go right now going to say it."
"I am the wild blue yonder. The front line in a never-ending battle between good and not-so-good. Together with my stalwart sidekick Arthur, and the magnanimous help of some other folks I know, we form the yin to villainy's malevolent yang. Destiny has chosen us. Wicked men — you face the Tick!"
"Yes I think that sums me up quite well now there are many people who ask why I became a super hero and well I just don't know I guess I have always been one. I don't really know anything other then how to beat up super villains. When it comes to fighting villains I am the best around. I am almost invulnerable and have a great battle cry that makes the villains quake in there boots. By screaming SPOON!!!!!! I can cause the evil dooers to stop their evil ways and run in fear and smellyness."
"Now I may not be the smartest super hero in the game but I do have plenty of words to live by like this famous quote that changed many lives and may have even caused world peace. Or maybe a nun to hug a clown."
"Destiny's powerful hand has made the bed of my future, and it's up to me to lie in it. I am destined to be a superhero. To right wrongs, and to pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evildoers everywhere. And you don't fight destiny. No sir. And, you don't eat crackers in the bed of your future, or you get all... scratchy."
"I know that one was mind blowing but there is more to come like this gem"
"Everybody was a baby once, Arthur. Oh, sure, maybe not today, or even yesterday. But once. Babies, chum: tiny, dimpled, fleshy mirrors of our us-ness, that we parents hurl into the future, like leathery footballs of hope. And you've got to get a good spiral on that baby, or evil will make an interception."
"There is also this magical number that is a philosophy on life and our connection to the world"
"I hate broccoli, and yet, in a certain sense, I am broccoli."
"Those are just some of the mighty and world changing power of my mighty words. I have seen many a person who have been changed for the better because of my mighty words and they make me fell all tingly inside to see all the good my words do."
"Now when it comes to my love life I do have one woman in my life who is very important to me. This amazing woman is name JUSTICE!!!! Yes Justice is the most important person in my life. Yes my side kick Arthur is pretty important but he is no Justice. Justice is a women who always shows love when I help her progress her goals and save some kitten from a tree thats on fire I am always one to help that kitten.
"I bet you internet people want to know some of the villains I have squashed while I have been doing my super heroeness. Well I have done battle with the worst of the best....or is it the worst of the worst.....maybe the best of the worst I don't really know. Lets just start with the evil of a man..plant...thing names El Seed."
"El Seed is truly an evil person flower thing. Ok to be honest I have no idea what he is all I know is he is bad news. El Seed is a living Mexican flower who has developed a serum to bring plants to life. One time he even dumped the stuff on me. I was sprouting plants for a long time. Trust me kids having corn in your ears feels very odd and icky. However after he made a corn army (The guy who usually writes these said that made him happy) I managed to defeat him and cure myself."
"The Breadmaster is the next weird person of evil to talk about. Him and his evil pastries really caused some problems. With his exploding or expanding bread bombs. I will say this to his credit the bread might have been evil but it did taste good. Him and his henchman Buttery Pat caused havoc all over the baking institutions of the City. He was defiantly one loaf short of a bakers dozen."
"Hummm who should I talk about next the? The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight? No no no......Dinosaur Neil? Well he isn't a super villain....The Man Eating Cow? No how about Chairface Chippendale? Yes yes that guy. Well ummmm he is defiantly evil. Kind of a mob boss I would say. Nothing really to talk about him. Rich, well educated, a schemer, wrote the first three letters of his name with laser on the moon, and he has a chair for a head. Nothing outstanding there just a well respected crook. Oh did I mention the chair for a head yes ok then no need to talk about him further."
"I guess the last villain to talk about would be the worlds greatest or worst super villain named the Terror. This man is scary to just talk about his evil deeds stretch back a century. He was friends with Joseph Stalin as well as being famous for getting in a fist fight with President Theodore Roosevelt. The Terror is currently one hundred and fifteen years old and is still as bad as ever. With his League of Evil consisting of the Man Eating Cow, The Human Ton and Handy, Stalingrad, and the evil alien Tuun-La. The terrorized the City holding the mayor hostage. I was having a bit of a break down at the time but I totally saved the day and uttered my famous catch phrase SPOON!!!!!!!!!!."
"Wow four pages well I sure can talk about myself for a long time. I guess I will have to leave you with one of my famous quotes.
"Eating kittens is just plain... plain wrong! And no-one should do it, ever!"
"I hope this look into my life has helped you straighten your lives up and get you flying right. I am The Tick and my warning to the people is this. May Evil beware and may Good dress warmly and eat plenty of fresh vegetables.
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