"Hello and welcome back to another installment of The Legend of Zelda Files where we take a look at the lives of characters of the Legend of Zelda series. I am your host Andy Balbac 2.0 and today I will be talking to Hyrule's premiere businessmen. That is right I will be talking to one of the many Business Scrubs that make a successful living for himself by Selling Items out in the field. I will also seek out further information about the Murder of my Predecessor as well as Mr. Wizrobe. So get you rupees ready as we talk to the Donald Trump of Deku Scrubs."
Me: "Hello Mr. Scrub thanks for sitting down with me."
Scrub: "I am a very busy man so please hurry this up."
Me: "Yes well I will try not to take to long."
Scrub: "Good because time is money and I am charging you ten rupees for every ten minutes."
Me: "Oh my well lets get into it then. How is business lately?"
Scrub: "Its doing great I over charge people for things they can find on the ground. They cough up the cash and I just go out and find more crap. Next question!"
Me: "What is your home life like?"
Scrub: "Its fine nothing much going on I come home wife has dinner on the table. Thats twenty rupees by the way."
Me: "Haha well can I ask you why you constantly spit out nuts."
Scrub: "Yea I have a tree growing inside of me the size of golf ball. It keeps spawning nuts and I have to spit them out."
Me: "Yes thats interesting"
Scrub: "Thirty rupees"
Me: Well I guess I have to end this interview because thats all the money I have."
Scrub: "Good pay me and GET OUT OF MY SHOP!!!!!!"
"Well he sure was a pain in the buttox."
???: "Come over here"
Me: "Come where I don't see you"
???: "Right here do you see me yet?"
Me: "Whoa are you just a hand and whats that smell?"
???: "Yes I am a whole person and this is a toilet."
Me: "Why the heck are you down there?"
???: "I fell in as a kid and couldn't get out"
Me: "Do you want help?"
???: "No I like it down here. The smell dosen't bother me any more and I have made my self a nice little home."
Me: "That is all kinds of disgusting. What did you want me for?"
???: "Well two things I think I can help you and you can help me."
Me: "How so?"
???: "Well I have information on your killer. But all I need in return is some paper."
Me: "Ok that sounds fair. What Information do you have?"
???: "I know who the killer is."
Me: "Ok please tell me."
???: "The thing that killed your friends is a Garo. The Garo are a group that are very Ninja like. They will often blow themselves up right before they die and the say "To Die without leaving a corpse such is the way of the Garo" That is all the information I have but I am sure it will be helpful."
Me: "Thank you I think we can use this information in our investigation. Here is your paper"
???: "Sweet and Entertainment Weekly!!"
Me: "Can I ask you one more question?"
???: "Sure what is it?"
Me: "What do you eat down there?"
???: "Trust me you do not want to know."
Me: "Yes I guess I would not. Well thank you my new friend please be careful so far everyone who has been talking about this has ended up dead or injured."
???: "Thank you for the warning I think I will be safe down here with the smell and you have no Idea what people flush down here."
Me: "I am also afraid to ask.....ok then thank you for your time please try and keep in touch. You know without actually touching me."
???: "Will do."
"Well that was defiantly an odd interview but thankfully we did get some information about our killer. Please join us again next time for another Legend of Zelda File. I feel like I need to take like five showers just to start to get the stank off of me."
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