The Legend of Zelda Files: Salvatore

"Hey everybody it has been a little bit since I last checked in but my team and I have been busy working on a portal called a Star Gate that we somehow obtained.  I'm way to laze to tell you how we got it but we have it so there.......Now on to why this thing is helpful we believe we can use this to access different Legend of Zelda "Universes."  We have already made contact with a man who runs a successful business on a "Windfall Island" and a "Spectacle Isle."  Now I have not yet seen this new "universe" but I will be going into the portal to find out what dangers await me.  If I don't make it out tell my wife and kids I love them.  Okay here I go good bye normal world I will miss you.  (FISHOUHLIMPAHZAAK..........SPLASH)  Wow I seem to have landed in what looks like an ocean.  There is land just a little bit away from here this just might be Windfall Island...(swim)...(swim)...(swim).....Good thing I am a champion swimmer or that would have been hard.  Before I go find the person I am interviewing I have a couple observations to state.  It seems that I have changed in looks while I am here.  I seem to be more brightly colored and kind of cartoonish I almost feel younger.  It seems that everyone and everything here has the same style as I do.  Well I think I should make my way to find this Salvatore...........(walk walk walk)....I seem to have found his establishment we will now start the interview."

Me: "Mr Salvatore thank you for letting me come to this new world to talk to you.  I have many questions for you."

Salvatore:" Wi wi zit iz good to zee you az well. I am pleazed to zee you are managing well in zis new place."

Me: "It is rather strange getting used to my new look but I rather like it.  Now if I can get to it.  Sir what is it that you do?"

Salvatore: "Ahhhh vell I am a runner of a fun successful game vat saddly that is not my dream job."

Me: "Well what is your dream if you don't mind me asking?"
Salvatore:  "Ah zis iz a sad tale of much misfortune.  I vanted to ve a vamous painter vut sadly zings did not go az vell az I planed.  Zo I vind myzelf here with zis game."

Me: "I am not trying to be rude but I have to say your accent does not sound right.  I don't think you are really French."

Salvatore: "Sir are you implying zat I am not French....Vell I ummm..........Okayz wateva so Im not French ya got a problem with that huh......I'm really from Brooklyn New York.  I was a young artist who managed to find ma way into this strange place."

Me:  "Why the accent then?"

Salvatore:  "No one takes artists a Brooklyn accent seriously.   I tried to make it in the art world with my paintings of pirates and what not when some dunder head said they look like bunch of vomited up pasta.  Well of course I went all BROOKLYN RAGE on him and broke his face.  Sadly I also broke the faces of my painting.  Soz I came up wit this idea.  I would put my face in the paintings faces to help with this game I was running to fund myself.  So does that explanation work for you HUH!?!"

Me: "Yeah yea its fine please don't break my colorful face."

Salvatore: "I'm not gunna hurt you I have replaced my anger with uncaring indifference."

Me: "Can I see what you do with your paintings?"

Salvatore: "It will cost you 5 ruppies a special price for the media."

Me:  "If I can get a look at this hit game then I will pay for it......"

Salvatore:......Duh duh da dun "Yo I got some ruppies.....ok thank you my man....okay let me get into character.....(Holds up a faceless painting of a pirate and puts his face into it)....ahem....."

Pirate Salvatore: "Yarr me harties looks like we have some tentacled beildge rats off the port bow.  Ye Swabbies better man the cannons and blast them scurvy sea dogs out of the water....If you don't get them all then it will be to Davy Jones  Locker for the lot of us now get to work or no rum for you......"

Me: "That was great Salvatore!"

Salvatore:  "That be Capitan Salvatore to you ya dog.....Oy sorry Iz sometime get stuck in character.  I am happy you liked it."

Me: "Well thank you for allowing me to expirence this new world I think I will stay for a while see if I can get any other interviews while I am here."

Salvatore:  "Yea its a nice place thanks for visiting me and if you tell anyone I'm not really French I will go all Brooklyn rage on your face."

Me: "I promise that won't be needed.  Once again thank you for your time."


"Well that was an interesting encounter.  It looks like I have a colorful new world to discover while I look for new people to talk to.  My friends I hope you join me next time in the next instalment of The Legend of Zelda Files.  I also hope that he doesn't realize that the interview was being broadcasted live oh well he agreed to do it so I'm in the clear."