My Thoughts on: Skyward Sword

Have I ever told you I love the Legend of Zelda games.  I mean everything about them make me happy.  Even the ones I am not the biggest fans of I still love because they are Legend of Zelda games.  So before I get into the newest title Skyward Sword I want to discuss my history with the Legend of Zelda series.  It all started a long time ago in a tiny town in Illinois.  One day I went over to my friends house lets call him  Socrates Poole (if you get the reference you are an awesome person.)  Socrates ran to the door screaming

"Help me help me the Redeads are going to kill me!! Oh you must help me my amazingly awesome and manly friend!!"

So I said to him:

"Fear not Poole I will save you from your nightmare and kill these Redeads."
With that he handed me his copy of The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time and that is how the legend began.  Ever since that day I have been a fan of the series and played and loved all the new ones after Ocarina of Time including Majora's Mask which quickly tied Ocarina of Time as my favorite game of all time.  Then came the Wind Waker which sadly was not as strong the other two but was a beautiful game with great music.  Minish Cap came next which I am currently replaying on my 3DS.  Then came Twilight Princess which I will talk about later. We get Phantom Hourglass and Spirit Tracks which are low on my list.  Besides the new game I have also tried my hand at some of the early games some unsuccessfully like the first Legend of Zelda.  and some works in progress like a Link to the Past and Oricale of Seasons.  Then the greatness of Links Awakening.

My love of the Legend of Zelda games have transcended through the years and every game has been important to me even the ones I don't care for that much.  I would never call them bad games or never tell someone not to play them.  In fact right now I have a mega play list of Legend of Zelda sound tracks which include a Link to the Past, Link's Awakening, Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, Wind Waker, and soon the Minish Cap.  Heck when I went to pick up Skyward Sword at Gamestop on a cold Sunday morning I was listening to the playlist and right as I was getting into town the credits music from Ocarina of Time started playing ending right when I pulled into the Gamestop parking lot.  This just felt like something important like the end has come for this long wait to get my hands on this new game.

So with out any more Delay lets get into The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword. I will tell you what I liked about this game what I didn't like (Which is a short list) and I will compare the game to Twilight Princess which was the last Legend of Zelda game released on the Wii (and also a game I have strong feelings about.) Then finally I will give my final thoughts on the game and announce its placement on my list of favorite Legend of Zelda games.

So here is the setting of Skyward Sword a long time ago a great evil ravaged the lands.  And it took the intervention of the great Goddess named Hylia.  So Hylia decided she was going to send a chunk of land into the sky to protect the people.  Hylia then fought off the evil that was doing the evil things.  The city in the Sky then became known as Skyloft and that is where our main character Link (Who I named Wombat) and Zelda were born and raised.  This is where our story starts.

Its a beautiful morning in Skyloft and our hero Link is sleeping away when a giant bird busts its head through his window with a letter from Zelda.  This obviously woke Link up and he met Zelda at the Goddesses Shrine.  She is telling you that you better win this flying competition and I am just going to skip over some stuff that leads up to the race but needless to say you win.  Your prize is some personal time with Zelda (Because she is portraying the Goddess) on the statue of the Goddess Hylia.......NO NO YOU STUPID PERVES NOTHING DIRTY HAPPENED!!!!  However I will say that Nintendo actually gives Link and Zelda some sort of real relationship.  Actually mixing in some romantic feeling to it.  You also get a sail cloth that Zelda Made herself.  This basically serves as a parachute for you many times skydiving.  Which is good because she then pushes you off the statue (What a bit......nice lady.)  Another part of your prize is flying around with Zelda while having a victory lap a strange wind storm knocks her down below the clouds and this is where the real adventure starts.  Now I know what you are thinking oh she gets captured and this is just like every other legend of zelda game ever.....well if you do think that then you are a massive moron since in both (Slight Spoilers) Ocarina of Time and Wind Waker Zelda does not get captured until the end.  In this game Zelda is actually made into a real character and not just another Princess Peach (Sorry Poole also a bit of trolling here since Peach isn't always bubble headed moron just most of the time.) Zelda is actually very important character in this story and actually escapes from the evil peoples more then once.  So that night while you are sleeping you are visited by a floating blue human female like creature. She leads Link inside the statue of the Goddess where she then introduces herself as Fi who is a servant of the Goddess Hylia.  She lets you know you win the mega raffle and are the chosen hero of the Goddess with a great destiny a head of him.  She then instructs you to take up the sword that is in a pedestal in front of you.  This is the Skyward Sword (Ohh a name drop YAY!!.)  So you have your sword and Fi who is like a living computer who will fill the roll of partner in this game.  Now you are ready to head to the surface and start your search for Princess Zelda.

Now I am going to end the story part of the review right there.  Yes there is much more to the story then that and actually proves to be a very emotional story at that.  It is very well done and actually touched me a big manly man on an emotional level.  It actually shows that both Link and Zelda must make great sacrifices in order to complete the destiny set ahead of them.

So with story out of the way lets talk about character....well mainly side characters since we already talked about Link and Zelda. So we will talk about Fi, Impa, and Groose who are three of the most important side characters I will also talk about Ghirahim who is the main enemy for most of the game.

So lets start by talking a little more about Fi.  Like I said earlier she is basically a living computer.  She doesn't have much of a personality or many emotions but I think this works for her.  While her main personality is cold and emotionless it really makes points in the game seem more beautiful or enchanting.  After you beat the first three temples she will translate a message from the Goddess and while she does this she dances and in my opinion that is a very beautiful experience.  Then later on in the game she will sing as you play your instrument.  This is another beautiful experience.  It makes Fi as a character more enchanting and makes her seem like she is more then just a computer.  Another thing about Fi is besides just giving Link statistics and analysis of his current situation or just weaknesses of his current enemy she will also give fun fact. An example of this is she will mention the fact that the Bokoboblins who are the main grunt enemies of the game like to wear fancy underwear.

So now it is time to talk about Impa who you might remember her as the Sage of Shadow in Ocarina of Time.  She is another servant of the Goddess of Hylia.  She helps watch over Zelda while she is on the surface.  She is a strong woman who can hold her own.  With magic powerful enough to stop Ghirahim long enough to help Zelda escape.  She takes her job very seriously even chewing Link out for being late.  At the end of the game you will find out something rather cool about her but I am not spoiling that.

So that brings us to Groose who is the character who changes the most throughout the game.  He starts out as links rival and a bully who steals Link's Loftwing to prevent link from entering the race.  Groose was hoping with his only real competition out of the way he could win and get his time with Zelda who he seems to have a huge crush on.  His crush on Zelda is actually pretty creepy.  Groose comes off as a bit of a perv as he thinks about him and Zelda alone on top of the statue.  Then once Zelda goes missing he enters a deep depression muttering to himself and wants to be the one who finds her instead of Link.  He acts on this desire when Link is flying out to the Woods and Groose falls from the sky grabbing Link as they fall to the surface (Which Groose has never seen and the way he looks and acts here makes me think of Donkey Kong.)  Groose thinks he should be the hero and should save Zelda until he "Granny" (Who helps link with some things and is the overseer of the sealed grounds) tells Groose that only Link can save Zelda but he will have his own role to play.  Groose doesn't pay much attention to that and thinks he is useless.  However as time goes by he changes and decides to do what he can.  He ends up making a cannon and a track that you can use to fight  the Imprisoned (Who is the monster sealed away at the sealed grounds.)  So now after that he learns he isn't useless.  He shows up once again at the end of the game but I won't talk about that.  Throughout the game Groose goes from being a creepy perv to a hero in his own rite.

So that leads us to Lord Ghirahim who i think proved to be a very interesting villain.  He is a powerful demon lord with great power.  You will face him three times in the game and each time you see more and more of his true power.  He has an ego that is bigger then a house and the power and skill to back it up.  All and all he is a well done bad guy.  He is also very mysterious and down right creepy from the way he looks and the powers he has and his weird lizard like tongue everything about him just makes me want to know more about him.  I really like Ghirahim even though Ganondorf will always be my favorite Ghirahim is just well done.  However if you want to know more about the Demon Lord you will just have to play the game yourself.

So now I am going to discuss how this game looks and all I can say is Beautiful.  I think the combination of Wind Waker's  cel-shaded style graphics with Twilight Princess's more realistic graphics make this a very beautiful game to look at.  The graphics are just make this world look great not much else to say.  I mean it just makes the world come to life....but it seems I am repeating myself so I am going to stop talking about how great the graphics look and on to the music.

So on the the music. I have to say the music was good but not great.  I mean don't get me wrong I like the music in the game but none of it is really memorable. However I think it is rather atmospheric.  Like Wind Waker's sailing music the flying music in this game just makes me feel like I am really on a great adventure.  I also find the music of the Bazaar is also very well done it changes with each booth you visit.  Other then that nothing great or memorable.  I won't say the music is bad though because it isn't and after a couple more playing maybe that will change.  And it will likely be added to my Legend of Zelda Mega Play List.

So now I think it is time for me to compare Skyward Sword and Twilight Princess.  Now as the people who have read my other stuff or just know me I did not care for Twilight Princess as much as I do the other games.  While it was not a bad game it just wasn't my favorite for a number of reasons.  I had a number of problems with Twilight Princess and Skyward Sword had fixed or made better, but I am going to break it down in a comparison between the two.  I am going to talk about the following things Midna vs Fi, Twilight Princess's Items vs Skyward Sword's Items, and just other things that i didn't like about Twilight Princess that was not a problem in Skyward Sword.

So lets talk about Midna.  She was a well done character with a great personality and back story.  She was dark and twisted and I absolutely loved her.  She was one of the best parts of Twilight Princess and in the match she is easily the better companion.  While I loved Fi and thought her singing and dancing was beautiful she didn't have anywhere near as much personality that Midna did.  So yeah one of the few things Twilight Princess did better then Skyward Sword.

The next thing is Items and I don't even have to say who wins here but I will Skyward Sword has the better Items hands down.  Now to defend my statement the items in Twilight Princess were either disappointing or useless outside of the temple.Yeah Twilight Princess gave us the double claw shot which is my favorite Item but it also gave use the Spinner which was a big disappointing.  It also brought us the Dominion Rod which was a boring item that is mostly useless out of temple.  Other then the Claw Shot and sometimes the Ball and Chain (And arrows if you are boring) there are not many good items that are useful out of temple.  While Skyward Sword gave us a number of interesting items including the Beedle which quickly became one of my favorite item in a Legend of Zelda game.  It also gave us items that are interesting to say the least.  While all of them are not amazing but they are fun to use and useful out of the temples that you got them from.

Now I here are a couple things I did not like about Twilight Princess that was not a problem in skyward sword.  Skyward Sword improved things like the graphics.  While Twilight Princess's graphics were not all bad but when Hyrule was covered in twilight is kind of ugly.  The other real problem I had with Twilight Princess was the Skypeople which now kind of makes me think.  Since Twilight Princess takes place long after Skyward Sword in the time line are the chicken human sky people the people of Skyloft? Is the city in the sky the remains of Skyloft...it just raises so many questions.  But I feel I have talked bad about Twilight Princess enough.

So on to something that Twilight Princess did better which is the music.  While I like the sound track to Skyward Sword it is no where near as good as Twilight Princess's.  TP's music made everything seem much bigger much more epic.  While it isn't as good as Ocarina of Time or a Wind Waker it does leave a good impact and really makes the whole adventure seem so much bigger.

Now I do want to say this though while I may have talked down Twilight Princess I do love the game.  I think any Legend of Zelda fan should not only play it (If they haven't already.....heck replay it if you have) but enjoy it.  While TP isn't perfect the things it does right it really does it right.  But I think it finally time to get back to Skyward Sword.

So it is time to give my over view of the game and my score for the game.  I really want to give this game a 10 out of 10 it does deserve it but there are just a couple things that I think hold it back a bit.  I already mentioned the music and while it is good does not really stand up to other Legend of Zelda games.  I also have to comment on the controls while Wii Motion Plus is fun to use (Really really fun to use) it isn't as reliable as pushing a button is.  This is only really a problem with the shield.  It just didn't like doing what I told it to which would often get me injured. Really thats my only real problems with Skyward Sword very minor very nit-picky but just enough to keep the game from being perfect.  So I am going to give it a 9.9 as a score.  It is so close to being perfect but just a few things hold it down.  If you own a Wii you should own Skyward Sword even if you have never played a single Legend of Zelda game you should play Skyward Sword.  It is a must own there is no denying that fact.

 Now before I end this review I am going to tell you where it places on my list.  Now note only games that I have beaten make this list so here it is....
1) Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask
2) Wind Waker and Skyward Sword
3) Links Awakening and The Minish Cap
4) Twilight Princess
5) Spirit Tracks and Four Swords Adventure
6) Phantom Hourglass

So thats really all I can say so at seven pages I think it is time to end this review.  Thank you Merry Christmas  Happy Hanukkah and remember that I love you.

My Thoughts on: Killer 7

I don't know how to start this review....heck I barely know how to describe this game. I mean how do you describe such an odd game.  Killer 7 is one of those games that different then pretty much any other game I have ever played.  With how most games today are just clones of other games or ripping off something made this game a nice breath of fresh air.  The only game I can really compare Killer 7 to would be  No More Heroes which was made some years later but the same guy who made Killer 7 (Suda 51).  and the only real comparison is the graphics style.
So I guess to start this out I will tell you the main premiss of this game.  You play as the Smith Syndicate also known as the Killer 7.  As the name suggests there are 7 members you get to play as however all 7 of these people are in one body. Yes the Killer 7 is one man with 7 different personalities that will replace the main man.  Each personality has different weapons from a silenced pistol to a double grenade launcher.
So I am gunna tell you about the main characters, the enemies, the game play. and what I thought of the game over all.  I know im not mentioning the story.  Well I just don't want to spoil it so I'm going to keep is simple.
So lets start with some characters.  We have eight playable characters and four returning characters who are in every level.  So lets start with the Boss of the Killer 7 Harman Smith,  Harman is the boss of Killer 7.  He is a wheelchair bound old man with a really big really powerful rifle that fires armor piercing rounds.  As I sad he is the leader of the Smiths but he himself does not see much combat.  You get to use him a couple times when it comes to big story points.
The next member of the Smith Syndicate is Garcian Smith.  As he will tell you he is a cleaner he has no problems with seeing a dead body to him its just rotting flesh.  He is not one for combat with his silenced pistol he is the weakest of the group but he is also the one who holds the team together (if he dies its a game over.) Garcian has the ability to go out and find the dead bodies of the other Smiths (Shown as heads in bags) and he can bring them back to life.  He also has the power of the Vision ring, which allows him to see the enemies better/sooner/from farther away.  Garcian is the main character in the game who the story follows and revolves around
Dan is the next Smith and is a natural born killer.  He is a smooth sharp dressed man with a nice powerful gun.  His gun is a powerful revolver which with 3 test tubes of blood (Yes blood is very important in this game) will fire a super powerful charge shot. This ability may be the only way to kill some of the enemies you will face.  Dan is the teams Bad A** and he was easily my favorite to play as.  He fits my play style of most games rolled into one only a little better.  I like the slow powerful type.  While he is very powerful he is more middle of the road with speed.
Now its time for the dying rose of the team Kaede Smith.  She is the only girl in the group and is well special.  Her weapon of choice is a scoped automatic handgun.  She is the one you use when you need to precision and can't just kill the enemy with a bunch of random shots.  However her slow firing speed makes her one of the people I used the least (unless you are good with video game sniping).  She also has a rather grim ability.  She can use her own blood (By slitting her wrists) to break down barriers and revile hidden clues.  She has a bond with another female spirit who helps point out where her abilities are needed.  She is a very dark character and I wish I knew more of her bast.
Con Smith is another character I personally loved to play as.  He is the smallest and the fastest member of the team and he also has the lowest life meter.  How ever he is a great member to use mainly because of his speed.  Everything about this kid is fast (Yea he is only in his teens).  Con is kind of like Daredevil he is blind but has amazing hearing.  He can see using sound even needing this ability to navigate a maze like area.  His uses a pair of automatic hand guns they are helpful.  You can take down two or three enemies in the time it could take others to kill one.  His speed is matched with it gun play.  And as if he wasn't fast enough his special ability is super speed.  Also his small size allows him to get into areas the others are to big to get into.  He is my second favorite character to play as just because of his fast firing ability.
Coyote Smith is the teams thief.  He has the ability to unlock any padlocked door.  He can also jump extremely high....like from the street to the top of a house.  Don't ask me how he jumps that high but he does.  He is a lot like Dan he has decent power with average speed.  He is a good third to character if Dan and Con are dead.  Other then that there really isn't much to say about Coyote.  He isn't the best but he sure isn't bad.  His jumping skill sure comes in handy as well.
So now we only have two personalities left and these two are the strangest.  Kevin smith is someone who would be classified as a strange silent type.  Through out the entire game he doesn't say a single thing, In fact it also seems he would rather not be seen at all.  His special ability makes him invisible and allows him to walk through any security system as well as enemies.  He is the second fastest character and also the quietest,  He uses throwing knives which are not the most powerful but if you juice them up you can throw a good number at a time.  However in he was mostly unused unless his skills are needed.  But I do like his character and I just wish I knew more about him since the games gives me so little information on him.
So on to the final Smith who goes by the name of Mask De Smith.  Mask is by far the most powerful character in the game.  He caries two grenade launchers, but with his power he is also the slowest in the game.  He has slow run speed and slow firing speed  having to reload after every shot.   I will say right off the bat that you will use Mask a lot as he will be able to move heavy objects out of the way (Including a freaking Semi.) With his explosive power he can blow up cracked walls to show hidden pathways.  Now I can make one comparison between Mask and one other thing in gaming and believe it or not i would compare him to a Pokemon.  How do you make such a comparison you may ask.  Well you strange person talking to me while I am righting I say this because he "evolves" twice.  The first time you "Evolve" (upgrade suits) you get a fifth charge shot, but the last upgrade makes him even better.  He can fire as many shots as he needs with out having to reload.  This upgrade alone gives him a much faster firing speed making him near unstoppable.
So this brings us to the supporting characters and we will start with Samantha.  She is a very odd person with her own split personality.  She serves as the maid for Harman and as a maid she cleans and feeds him as well as someone who would save your game.  However when you are not in a place where you can save she is an angry abusive woman.  There are several scenes where she is beating up and abusing Harman who at the time is helpless (Since his body is inactive when your not controlling him.)  The odd thing with her is that when she is in her maid uniform she is silent and professional.
After miss crazy pants we have Iwazaru an odd and helpful bondage suited man.  He is a ghost who is very helpful at getting information for the smiths.  Iwazaru is a very loyal servant of Harman Smith.  He can always be found inside Harman's room but he can also be found around the levels and will give you plenty of information that will help you as you play.  He will even bring you items you need to continue in a level.
Other then Samantha and Iwazaru we have two characters who will often help you out either with just puzzle hints or actually gives you pieces to the story.  Yoon-Hyun is the one who will sell you information.  His price is blood and once you shoot the mask he holds as well as pay the blood he will be flipping you off while he gives you info and calls you a loser.  Then our other dead helper is Travis.  He is a man you killed before this game and will keep filling you in on what is really going on.  He starts out hating you for killing him but ends up helping out with the situation.
Now this brings us to our enemies in this game the Heaven Smiles.  Now there are many different kinds of Heaven Smiles but I will just tell you about them as a whole and the ones you will meet the most often.  Now the Smile is an invisible enemy that you can't see without scanning the area (L button on the gamecube).  Now I am sure you are wondering how do you know where the Smiles are at.  Well my silly little cumquat you listen for the creepy laughter.  When ever you enter a room with a Smile in it you will here some very "Jokeresq" laughter, when you hear this you should instantly scan the area to find any Smiles in the area.  Now when you find the Smile or Smiles you can either shoot like crazy person or find its weak spot.  The Weak Spot is always a yellowish color when the Smile itself is usually red or purple.  Now the three smiles you will see the most is the normal Heaven Smile which is easily beaten by either shooting it alot or hitting its weak spot.  The Speed Smile is a smile that will run right at you.  Just like the other smiles just aim for its weak point but if you don't have time to do so just start shooting.  Then the third most common Smile is the Bombhead Smile.  This Smile has is basically wearing the Blast Mask (Majora's Mask).  Its mask will blow up if you shoot it but if you do that you won't get any all important blood.  However if you wait and shoot it in the face when the mask opens up it will be dead and you will get your yummy blood.
So this brings us to the game play and well its pretty good.  This game is an on rails shooter which I know people don't like all that much, but the game would not have worked as well any other way.  The game can get tough and it is easy to get lost when you need to find things.  However this isn't much of a bad thing compared to the rest of the game.  For me the game play took a little bit of time to get used to but before that I had never played a rail shooter......or at least I can't remember playing one.  Like I have said before each character brings something different to the game play but overt all it stays the same.  Once you know what you are doing game play wise you will have a pretty easy time with the rest of the game.
So overall this is a good game.  It is fun and strange but the strange is more like creepy strange.  The use of blood to power special attack and also as money.  The grimness of Kaede cutting her wrist to break down barriers.  The ghost of the people you have killed in the past (Including bosses in the game) and the "people" who give you the special rings.  Even the story and bosses can be kind of creepy.  However I think the best part of the game is the ending which is rather sad.  Even though it might not have been the most unexpected ending it still is effective when it comes to making the player feel sadness.  Over all this game is a 7.5 out of 10. Could it have been a better game over all yes but is it a good game yes.  It is a game that will only work in for some people more then others.  If you like seeing poop brown and gray graphics all the time this game is not likely for you.  But if you like a colorfully dark game then I recommend it......as for YOU......and YOU know who YOU are.....YOU should play this game.  So thats my over all opinion on Killer 7.  Thank you have fun and remember  "The tanker has six-thousand hulls, so, unlike me, it's entirely leak-proof. " :Professor (Futuram)

My Thoughts On: Evil Dead: A Fistfull of Boomstick

    Well it has been a while since I have reviewed something or even written something so I figured I would do a review about a video game that is based off of one of my Favorite movies.  The Fistfull of Boomstick is a game based off of the the three Evil Dead movies (Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn, and Evil Dead 3: Army of Darkness).  Now I would go into detail about these movies but I think I will review the three of them at a later date (Yes I know you think but my King why are you reviewing the game that comes after the movies first....to that I say shut up and start juggling)  so I am going to give you the condensed version.  When someone reads the Necronomicon (Book of the Dead you dummy) out loud evil demons (Named Deadites) come out and start killing people and its up to Ash (Ashley) Williams who is played by my Favorite Actor Bruce Campbell to take them down.  Well in this review I will look at six things Character, Weapons, Locations, Story, how it fits in with the movies, and then my over all opinion.   So lets look at my giant fist full of BOOMSTICK.

    Character: We have about four main character Mr. Williams the Black Smith, Eldrige, Trisha, and Ash Williams.  I figured I would go least important to the most important so I can say a lot about Ash with out you having to sit through the rest of the characters after im done with him.

    The Blacksmith: Now I know a character without a first name does not seem very important and for most characters like that you would be right, however Mr. Williams is pretty important in a level where you seem to find yourself in the past.  Now im sure you have figured out that same last name+time travel=Great great great great great great great grandpa and well you would be right.  The Blacksmith is family and just like Ash he know how to kill and unlike Ash he knows how to make weapons.  Williams will do just that making two powerful time breaking weapons which i will discuss later.  He is even used in the escape attempt of the main bad guy into the future.  You know the drill Williams is captured and the bad guy threatens you saying if I kill the Blacksmith you will die as well.  He is right by the way I died that way twice.  However once you save the Blacksmith and leave into the time warping vortex he will go on and have kids and invent a second weapon from a piece of scrap metal you gave to him before you left.

    Eldrige: Eldrige is one of those brainy types who think they are better then everyone else.  He is the reason all this started in the first place and deserves to be slapped about a bit......which you thankfully get to do because he turns out to be power hungry, and becomes the main bad guy for most of the game.  Eldrige starts out as a scientist and a historian who found the audio tapes of the man who found the Necronomicon (Will go into more detail in the movie reviews) and like and idiot played them while on a local occult TV show.  This releases the evil Deadites on the city of Dearborn MI.  Throughout the first few levels he allows you to do all the leg work to gather the things he needs to TAKE OVER THE WORLD (OF COURSE!!!)  Once you get the last item he needs called the Kandarian Summoning Stone he hops into a vortex and is carried back in time.  Eldrige spreads his evil throughout Dearborn in the Colonial times as well as the Civil War.  However Ash finally catches up with him and fills him full of holes just so Eldrige can transform into a dragon like demon.  Ash being Ash takes care of Eldrige while making fun of his new found ugly.  This will be that last time we see Eldrige seeing as he has come down with a really bad case of deadness.

    Trisha: I don't have much to say about Trisha she isn't very important until the end of.  For most of the game she was just the attractive red head with a big pair of "eyes" who becomes the love interest.  She is just the host of the Occult show Eldrige was on the beginning when all this started.  However at the end of the game she turns out as power hungry as Eldrige as she turns out to be the Deadite Queen who you fight at the end of the game (It seems she has been beaten several times with a whole ugly tree.) 

    Ash:  Well its time to talk about the best character in the whole game Ash Williams the main character played by the legend himself BRUCE CAMPBELL!!!  Yes the king himself lends his voice to his old character which really makes the character likeable.  If they would have had someone else voice Ash it would have not been as good of a game.  As I said Ash is our main character for the game and in my opinion you will love being him.  He is a rough tough Deadite exterminator.  Ash has a sharp instincts and a smart mouth (The game has a wisecrack button) as Ash you get the sense that he has done this before.  He has a cocky attitude and pure confidence as fire over your shoulder at a Deadite followed about a rather funny quip about how he can't find his ammo because its in your face.  Most of his quips are pretty funny some of course are really corny.  Some of my favorite quotes are "Boomstick: $199.99, Shells: 39.99, Zombies heads blowing off: priceless."  "One day I'll leave my life of violence behind me. Until then, I'll enjoy my work. "  "Hey buddy, what's on your mind? Oops, sorry - I forgot you need a head for that! "  "Some people are born to use a chain saw. Me. Well I got one attached to me. "  "We've secretly replaced this Deadite's brain with a chain saw blade. But be quiet. Let's see if he notices." Okay thats enough quotes.  There are a lot more quotes then that and a lot of them are funny.  Ash just makes a good hero or I guess anti hero or whatever all around he is just a well done character.

    Weapons:  Now this is going to be more of a list of items more then a description this will also involves the magic spells you will find throughout the game. So im gunna break this down the following way Melee, Normal Guns, Explosives, Arm Attachments, and Spells.

    Melee:  Shovel, Sickle, Sword, Leecher, and Exsanguinator (Which i sadly never found)

    Normal Guns: Boomstick (Shot Gun), Pistol, and Hand Cannon (Old Fashioned Hand Gun)

    Explosives: TNT, Molotov Cocktails, and Launcher (Which is like a rocket launcher that fires out the TNT and Cocktails)

    Arm Attachments now i think i need to explain what this means.  If you know the movies you know Ash only has one hand the other one has a chain saw attached to it which you can switch with other big weapons you get through out the game and here is the list. 

    Arm Attachments: Chain Saw, Spray Pump, Flame Thrower (Made by the Blacksmith in Colonial Dearborn), Gatling Gun (Also made by the Blacksmith after you leave Colonial Dearborn), and the Diamond Chain Saw.

    Magic Spells: Extra Strength, Lightning, Stun, Possess Deadite, Possess Dog, Summon Dog, Rain of Fire, Possess Guardian, Possess Slavelord, Seismic Wave, Possess Warrior, and Dispel Runic Lock,
With all the weapons and the Spells you have plenty of ways to squash all the Deadites that try to get into your way.

    Locations:  This game only has about five completely different locations in the game.

    #1) Dearborn: This is the town you start in just a normal ordinary town with like five or six strip clubs.  The town itself has nothing special to it but has some key places like the Church, The Lumber Yard, Kitten's Strip Club, The University, and the KLA2 TV station.

    #2) The Museum: This place is cool you have a four exhibits to visit Civil War, Colonial, Egyptian, Ice age/Volcanic Earth, bossa Basement, and an Underground Temple....which is where you you will face your first Boss Nathaniel Payne who owns the museum and built the temple.  He has turned into a giant monster who will treat you to an easy but fun battle.

    #3) Colonial Dearborn: Well this is the first place you go after going back in time and well it feels like your in an older place but it does still feel like your in Dearborn. It sadly doesn't make you feel like you have gone back in time but it does look the part.  This is where you meet the Blacksmith however that is really the only thing of interest that is here.  So lets go forward in time.

    #4) Civil War Dearborn: This place looks and feels like it is seeing war.  Building have been destroyed there are holes in the ground and you can find both the Union forces and Confederate Forces in town.  Here Eldrige and the Deadites have locked themselves in a fort that you must attack.  One man can't take on a whole army on his own however so you will need the help of both the Union and the Confederates to break in.  Here is where you will finally face Eldrige and wipe the Ugly off of his face before jumping back to the present but forgetting the Kandarian Summoning Stone back in the fort.

    #5) Evil Dearborn: Well you came home to what you thought would be a Dearborn back to normal however it is very much in ruins.  It seems while in your absence the Deadites have taken over the town and have even been enslaving the people.  This place is a Hell on Earth both in looks and difficulty.  there is nothing about this place that is easy when it comes to the enemies.  The main Deadites you fight called the Deadite Warrior take four shotgun shells to kill them.  This is a place where the town is destroyed and most of the level is underground.  It looks scary and it feels scary the enemies are tough and your best bet is to run which isn't hard the enemies are either slow or easy to lose.  This place is also where you fight the Trisha the Deadite Queen. 

    Okay next up is the story which won't take me long.  I have already mentioned parts of it so let me just break it down in and make it simple.  The passages of the Necronomicon are played on television.  The dead rise from the grave and people start being possessed and killing others. Ash starts kicking butt and not caring about names.  You go to the Museum to get the Kandarian Summoning Stone. Eldrige uses it to go back in time and use its powers to control the Deadites to take over the world.  You follow him to the past before killing him during the civil war.  You go back to the present to Evil Dearborn where you must free the human slaves and find three keys to extend a bridge that you will need to enter the Queens Room.  Now all you have to do is kill the pile of ugly that once was a hot red head. The you did it game over yay!!! Now if you want me to give you more detail on it then I shall kindly say SHUT UP!!!

    So now is the part i have been looking forward to how well does it match up with the movies.  The answer to that is perfectly it feels just like im playing out an Evil Dead movie I would say I'm playing out Evil Dead 4 but apparently there was a game before this that was basically Evil Dead 4 just in the form of a bad game. This Movie makes me feel like im Ash im cool i know what im doing and I will shoot you in the face if you become a Deadite.  The dialog is just like it would be in a movie the characters are just what they would be like in a movie.  Just everything would fit into the movie it just works.  Having Bruce Campbell playing Ash in this game is the only way this could have worked.

    Finally I have my Overview.  Over all this game is good if your a fan of Evil Dead and Bruce Campbell.  If you are not a fan of either Evil Dead or Bruce Campbell then you will just find this game as an average Survival Horror game.  The game is far from perfect either way but it is a lot of fun.  The Boss Fights are really easy but fun like using your shovel to hit Paynes rock blasts back at him or lobbing TNT into Deadite Queen Trisha's Mouth.  However the difficulty level is rather high through out.  Even when you have enemies that are easily killed you have a lot of them.  There are plenty of times when you will have a large group of Deadites to fight at once and with Shot Guns and Chain saws that isn't exactly easy.  However the game is never annoyingly hard until you get to Evil Dearborn.  Graphics are in about the middle of the road for a PS2 game.  I have seen worse but I have seen much better.  The Game Play is good with the only real problem is the camera can be a bit annoying.  The controls work really well (Even though I don't care for the PS2 controller).  Over all I would give this game a solid B which fits it perfectly.  This isn't a game that was meant for greatness it was just meant to be a nice present for the fans of the Evil Dead and well that exactly what it is.  If you like the Evil Dead movies you will like this game,  If you like Bruce Campbell you will like this game, if you are just looking for a survival horror game to pass the time check this game out, however if your not any of these things then this game might not be for you.

    Obviously this is just one person who decided to spend his time writing this review when he could be out enjoying life or some dribble like that.  In my opinion if I could have easily bought this game and been very happy with it. So tune in next time when I get the motivation to write another review.  Like I said I will review the Evil Dead movies sometime in the future until then I will write about whatever the heck I feel like.....until then good bye and I love you.

The Legend of Zelda Files: Salvatore

"Hey everybody it has been a little bit since I last checked in but my team and I have been busy working on a portal called a Star Gate that we somehow obtained.  I'm way to laze to tell you how we got it but we have it so there.......Now on to why this thing is helpful we believe we can use this to access different Legend of Zelda "Universes."  We have already made contact with a man who runs a successful business on a "Windfall Island" and a "Spectacle Isle."  Now I have not yet seen this new "universe" but I will be going into the portal to find out what dangers await me.  If I don't make it out tell my wife and kids I love them.  Okay here I go good bye normal world I will miss you.  (FISHOUHLIMPAHZAAK..........SPLASH)  Wow I seem to have landed in what looks like an ocean.  There is land just a little bit away from here this just might be Windfall Island...(swim)...(swim)...(swim).....Good thing I am a champion swimmer or that would have been hard.  Before I go find the person I am interviewing I have a couple observations to state.  It seems that I have changed in looks while I am here.  I seem to be more brightly colored and kind of cartoonish I almost feel younger.  It seems that everyone and everything here has the same style as I do.  Well I think I should make my way to find this Salvatore...........(walk walk walk)....I seem to have found his establishment we will now start the interview."

Me: "Mr Salvatore thank you for letting me come to this new world to talk to you.  I have many questions for you."

Salvatore:" Wi wi zit iz good to zee you az well. I am pleazed to zee you are managing well in zis new place."

Me: "It is rather strange getting used to my new look but I rather like it.  Now if I can get to it.  Sir what is it that you do?"

Salvatore: "Ahhhh vell I am a runner of a fun successful game vat saddly that is not my dream job."

Me: "Well what is your dream if you don't mind me asking?"
Salvatore:  "Ah zis iz a sad tale of much misfortune.  I vanted to ve a vamous painter vut sadly zings did not go az vell az I planed.  Zo I vind myzelf here with zis game."

Me: "I am not trying to be rude but I have to say your accent does not sound right.  I don't think you are really French."

Salvatore: "Sir are you implying zat I am not French....Vell I ummm..........Okayz wateva so Im not French ya got a problem with that huh......I'm really from Brooklyn New York.  I was a young artist who managed to find ma way into this strange place."

Me:  "Why the accent then?"

Salvatore:  "No one takes artists a Brooklyn accent seriously.   I tried to make it in the art world with my paintings of pirates and what not when some dunder head said they look like bunch of vomited up pasta.  Well of course I went all BROOKLYN RAGE on him and broke his face.  Sadly I also broke the faces of my painting.  Soz I came up wit this idea.  I would put my face in the paintings faces to help with this game I was running to fund myself.  So does that explanation work for you HUH!?!"

Me: "Yeah yea its fine please don't break my colorful face."

Salvatore: "I'm not gunna hurt you I have replaced my anger with uncaring indifference."

Me: "Can I see what you do with your paintings?"

Salvatore: "It will cost you 5 ruppies a special price for the media."

Me:  "If I can get a look at this hit game then I will pay for it......"

Salvatore:......Duh duh da dun "Yo I got some ruppies.....ok thank you my man....okay let me get into character.....(Holds up a faceless painting of a pirate and puts his face into it)....ahem....."

Pirate Salvatore: "Yarr me harties looks like we have some tentacled beildge rats off the port bow.  Ye Swabbies better man the cannons and blast them scurvy sea dogs out of the water....If you don't get them all then it will be to Davy Jones  Locker for the lot of us now get to work or no rum for you......"

Me: "That was great Salvatore!"

Salvatore:  "That be Capitan Salvatore to you ya dog.....Oy sorry Iz sometime get stuck in character.  I am happy you liked it."

Me: "Well thank you for allowing me to expirence this new world I think I will stay for a while see if I can get any other interviews while I am here."

Salvatore:  "Yea its a nice place thanks for visiting me and if you tell anyone I'm not really French I will go all Brooklyn rage on your face."

Me: "I promise that won't be needed.  Once again thank you for your time."


"Well that was an interesting encounter.  It looks like I have a colorful new world to discover while I look for new people to talk to.  My friends I hope you join me next time in the next instalment of The Legend of Zelda Files.  I also hope that he doesn't realize that the interview was being broadcasted live oh well he agreed to do it so I'm in the clear." 

The Legend of Zelda Files: Ooccoo and Ooccoo jr

"Welcome back to another amazing installment of The Legend of Zelda Files.  We will be looking at a very mysterious race known as the Occa.  Now not much is known about this strange race.  I am not sure if one has ever been seen by a normal person but I will get to talk to some of them named Ooccoo and Ooccoo Jr.  So join me for this huge event of tremendous proportions.  Okay there they are and ummmmmm they look weird."

Me:  "Ummm Hi are you Ooccoo?"
Ooccoo: "Why yes I am and this is my young son Ooccoo Jr"
Jr: "Hi sir"
Me: "So are you a male or female?"
Ooccoo: "Well I am a woman of corse isn't it obvious?"
Me:  "Ummmm no I have never seen one of you before and uh you look kind of odd.  So your really an ancient race of Hyrule?"
Ooccoo: "Well yes we are an ancient and powerful race who have been around for a very long time."
Me:  "How did your race come to be."
Ooccoo: "Well when a man loves a Chicken...."
Me: "Okay I have to stop you there or we will be censored.  Ummm well where dose your race live"
Ooccoo: "Well we live in the city of the sky high above Hyrule.  It is a beautiful place except when its under attack by a dragon."
Me: "A dragon how did you get rid of this Dragon?"
Ooccoo: "A young man named Link came and helped us out."
Me: "Link huh how well do you know this Link?"
Ooccoo: "Well my son and I have met him several times during his adventures."
Me: "Did you notice anything odd or violent about him?"
Ooccoo: "Well he did end the lives of many monsters that were attacking."
Me: "Mam are you sure they were attacking or were they just minding there own business and he just attacked them?"
Ooccoo: "What are you talking about?"
Me: "Link is wanted for murder and we are trying to build a case against him."
Ooccoo:  "WHAT!! Link is a hero he has fought many monsters."
Me: "Is it really fair calling them monsters they are just people or something like that.  Who were just trying to survive another day struggling just to get by who Link just happens to enter their house and then attack them with out warning. "
Jr: "My mommy and I don't like how your talking about Link I think you should go."
Me: "Fine I will be leaving but one last question....Are you just a flying head?"
Jr: "Yes mister dumb face."

"Well as you can tell that went perfectly.  I don't think I will be talking to them again but I did manage to get some information about Link.  We just need to find out who is protecting him and how we can get him for his crimes.  So join me next time for another thrilling Legend of Zleda File."

Favorite Movie of 2010

Well its finally time to tell you my favorite movie for 2010 I have been kind of slow getting this one up seeing as it should have been up on like Tuesday So Im not going to drag this out any more the best movie of 2010 is obviously not one that anyone saw coming that no one knew I liked thats right its Scott Pilgrim Vs The World.  I am sure you are all shocked I will give you a little bit of time to get over such a big shock...................OK TIME OVER!!!!!!!!!

Scott Pilgrim vs The World:
    Well to be honest I think this movie was designed for me to like it.  How couldn't I like this movie comic book styling, video game references, and the fight scenes.  How do I talk about this movie with out spoiling to much.  Ummm well I will talk about the basic story.  So lets start with the typical boy meets girl and its love at first sight well at least for Scott it is.  However there is a catch he has to defeat 6 evil ex-boyfriends and one evil ex-girlfriend. He also has to worry about his band the awesomely named Sex Bob Oms as the enter the battle of the bands.  Which this leads us into the fight scenes so meet me in the next paragraph.

    What made the fight scenes so awesome?  I would have to say all of the over flowing awesomeness they have.  What you want me to be more descriptive fine you needy Jack Wagons.  The greatest things about the fight scenes is how stylish they are.  All the colors and the special effects mixed with the awesome action.  The fight scenes look like video games like Street Fighter or other games like that.  Plus there is climax to the fights which are usually really funny and well awesome....did I mention awesome if not then AWESOME.

    Awesome awesome awesome aweso......Sorry about that my head had a glitch.  Video Game references and comic book styling were pretty big factors in this movie.  Now what do I mean by this?  Well through out the movie they have plenty of video game music and sound effects which for someone like me is very entertaining.  This really made me happy seeing as a bunch of them for Legend of Zelda games which is my favorite video game franchise in case you somehow don't know.  As for the comic book styling well the stylishness of the whole movie.  It also was pretty impressive with how it made sounds visual.  What I mean by this is there was worded sound effects like fwoosh and things like that.  It is also colors coming off of instruments and  and D's coming off the bass which sounds small but really looked cool. 

    I think the acting was also pretty good.  The characters were played well and made realistic well as realistic as this movie can be.  I know there are complaints that the characters were ass holes but thats just how people are.  Yes Knives got the shaft in the movie but she was mature enough to get over it and be ok with it.  As for the evil EXs they were awesome so very very very awesome. 

    Now I could talk about this movie and I would never do it justice.  So if you haven't seen it yet please do for me.  See this movie for the loveable kid with the broken legs you know you love.  It would make me happy pretty pretty please.  Oh and on a final note to end this movie review in the best way ever I will say this AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best and Worst Movies of 2010 part 3 and a half

I started a list of my favorite and least favorite movies of 2010 and I gave you my second worst and second favorite movies (Predators and Kick-Ass).  It is time for my least favorite movie of the year.  However after I figured that the worst movie of the year was Legion my friend Jerod reminded me of Avatar the Last Air Bender (which sadly sucked).  So I am going to talk about both movies.  So without further ado here are the worst movies of the year.

Legion:
    Lets get into Legion a generic action movie that sucked in biblical proportions.  Now I am not going to go into to much detail on this movie but I will address its problems by starting with the story.  Now I have to say with a few tweaks this movie wouldn't be that bad.  The story as it stands has God sending angles to kill everyone on earth.  You see our main characters holding up in a diner.  The female lead is going to have a baby soon and for some reason that baby is going to save the world or some BS.  So yea it sucks but I can fix it with two changes.  Change God to Satan and Angle to Demon.  Look a crappy movie now makes more sense.  Now I know it wouldnt have won any awards but it wouldn't be total crap.  Now I do have to say it wasn't a bad action movie but with the addition of religion it made it a lot worse.  Okay enough about Legion lets talk about a tightly coiled pile of whatsit my dog leaves on the carpet.

Avatar The Last Airbender:
    My friends and I paid money to see a movie in 3D that I had been personally looked forward to.  However when the movie started we were forced to witness a movie that should have been awesome except for one name M. Night Shyamalan.  He took an amazing cartoon show and pulled down his pants and took a huge dump on it.  What I am getting at is the movie was shit. 
    So how was to story you may ask.  It was rushed and confusing I would answer.  Trying to cram an entire book of this epic cartoon into about 2 hours was impossible and stupid.  What about the acting?  Well you fancy pants cutie muffin the actors tried hard but came out wooden and boring and they couldn't pronounce anything right.  It sounds like your being nit picky.  I respond to this by saying SHUT YOUR FACE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!   How was the 3D you ask in a scard voice still shaken from me yelling at you?  3D.....3D HAHAHAHA the 3D sucked so bad that you didn't even notice it.  I will say the fighting was cool and the inclusion of Aasif Mandvi was awesome (I love the Daily Show). 
    Even though this movie sucked so badly I don't want you to look down on the cartoon.  Avatar the Last Airbender was well animated, well written, and was filled with awesome action and acting.  It never took itself to seriously but when it had to it was serious.  However it was a ton of fun to watch and I wish it was on tv more. 
    So those are my least favorite movies of 2010.  They suck so very badly like a tornado that was crapped on.  So one pointer of each movie.
#1: No more God destroying the world unless its the Noah story. 
#2:  No M. Night Shyamalan stay away from thing I enjoy.  Make Cooked Carrots the Movie or something.  Okay well I ranted enough bye 

Best and Worst Movies of 2010 part 2

Last night I posted the first part of best and worst movies of 2010.  Now these movies were more like my favorite and my least favorite movies.  Also I should add that I am not a movie critic and I don't have the great insight into the world of movies.  I am just an opinionated guy who thinks people actually care about what I think.  So anyway I for this one I am going to talk about my second favorite movie of 2010.


Kick-Ass

Most people who know me know I love this movie and who could blame me.  Okay somepeople might disagree and say this isn't that good of a movie but I say SHUT UP STUPID!!!!  Now that I got that out of the way I am going to break down why I love this movie.  Its almost the opposite of why I hated Predators the movie had great characters, great story, and amazing action sequences. 


Its time to start talking characters and of course we should start with the main character Dave Lizwski or Kick-Ass.  Now why did I like Dave?  It is because I could relate to him.  He was a comic geek who loves super heroes and actually wants to become one.  Now I know that sounds kind of dumb but I have always wanted to have super powers.  Like every normal teenager he makes a super hero outfit and goes out to fight crime.  This ends about as well as you think and he gets very much hurt giving him nerve damage that allows him to not feel pain and makes Kick-Ass work.  However like any random super hero with out any super powers he sucks.  So Kick-Ass is like every awkward teen wanting to be special and in love with a girl who is way out of his league.  


We just met our hero so now let us look at the Villain who goes by the name of Frank D'Amico.  He is one of the most realistic villains ever he isn't trying to take over the world (OF COURSE) Frank is just a drug lord.  That is it something that real people do and yea he is evil in a normal way.  I also think he is played excellently by Mark Strong.

Now there are two other great characters that really made this movie Hit Girl and Big Daddy.  These two or trained killers who are experts at what they do.  The biggest catch is that Hit Girl is an 11 year old girl.  She is the most unrealistic character in the movie but also the most entertaining.  You see this young girl kicking grown men across a room.  Is it really possible no but is it awesome yes.  As for Big Daddy he is a former cop who knows how to kill and will do it very awesomely.  Now Big Daddy was played by Nicolas Cage in probably one of his best performances.


As far as the story goes I mentioned the jist of it already.  Teenager becomes a super hero and gets in the way of the Frank which causes Mr. D'Amico to get really really mad.  As Big Daddy and Hit Girl plans to take Frank down so they can have some revenge.  Which I think flows nicely into the action sequences which I have to saw are awesome to the power of awesome.  The fight scenes with Hit Girl and Big Daddy are incredible as well as incredibly violent.  Which all boils down to a terrifying torture sequence which sends a pissed off Hit Girl after Frank with the help of Kick-Ass.  The battle that follows is so much fun and exciting that I love it.  It also ends in the most satisfying deaths in history.  


So in a nutshell that is Kick-Ass in all of its violent glory.  The amazing characters that are played perfectly.  The story is great and so is the action sequences.  So that is my second favorite movie of 2010.  Now join me next time for the my least favorite movie of 2010.