Disclaimer this is made as a parody and spoof on my beloved franchise. It is all fictional and not really related to the characters as part of there background.
Today on The Legend of Zelda Files we will be looking at the over weight king fish himself. King Zora is the proud leader of the Zora fish people who dwell in Zora's domain. Now most Zoras are sleek and beautiful King Zora is very heavy set and lazy. However since the events of Ocarina of Time the King has been working out. Now his excises is a little strange but it seems to have been effective he has dropped 100lbs since the beginning of his working out. Now he has even built up muscle mass and has quite a nice body at the moment. Now I sat down with the King in his domain.
Me: "I have to thank you for letting me met with you today and I have to say you look great."
King: "Thank you Andy I am glad you like all the progress I made with this new work out."
Me: "Well you have defiantly made progress just look at those arms. I mean do I have to buy a ticket to this gun show?"
King: "You might just have to. You know Andy if I had this body back in the day I would have stopped Ganondorf myself. Give him a good one to the face you know what I mean."
Me: "How would you have gotten into the castle if memory serves the sages built Link a rainbow bridge."
King: "Shut up Andy"
Me: "Oh yea gotcha. So can you tell me your secret?"
King: "What secret is that?"
Me: "Well your secret exercise?"
King: "Oh yes that well I guess I can. It all started when I young Link visited me and informed me that my daughter was eaten by Jabu Jabu and he needed to go see him..."
Me: "Sorry to interrupt but your not saying that the exercise is the..."
King: "Yes Andy my secret exercise is butt scooting across my seat here."
Me: "Wow really thats a surprise. How did you figure out that this was working for you?"
King: "well to be honest after we were frozen I just couldn't stay still any more and I just started scooting. Then when results started showing the rest of the Zora's started encouraging me and this is the result. Heck now I can even make a Goron shake with fear."
Me: "Well you defiantly look a lot better then you did back then."
King: "Yes well I am not to happy about my past self all of that sitting there was killing me. Now I see that my Daughter being eaten by a whale was the best thing to happen to me."
Me: "Where is the princess Ruto at may I ask?"
King: "Oh ummm shes guarding some temple in the lake I really don't know. We haven't talked to much since the whole freezing incident. I know she is safe though and its not really so much she doesn't want to its more shes the sage of water thing you know how it goes. I am very proud of her."
Me: "Well she grew up to become a very beautiful young lady. Are the rumors of her and Link being a couple true?"
King: "Well it depends on what you mean. She did give him the Zora Samphire which her mother told her to only give to the man she was going to marry. However when the little snot vanished for seven years he broke my poor daughters heart. However when she became the Sage she realized what had happened and let her anger go. I still feel like breaking his face but he did save well the world so I forgave him."
Me: "Well that was very nice of you to do."
King: "Well as king I need to be fair and just and I feel like it is my duty to forgive him."
Me: "Well sir you are truly a great example of what a monarch should be. Thank you for letting me sit down and talk to you. It has been a real honor."
King: "Your welcome Andy you are welcome here anytime."
So that was my interview with King Zora the proud ruler of the Zora people. His success is truly inspirational. Please tune in next week when our next episode of The Legend of Zelda Files airs. I am Andy Balbac and thank you for joining us.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
My thoughts on: Freakazoid
I want to welcome everyone to the Freakalair as we talk about the man, the myth, and the legend known as Freakazoid. Now I love this show and this character he really shows what it might be like inside my brain. Freakazoid like my brain is a mess of nonsense and awesomeness. The jokes and creative characters made this show epic and from the same minds that brought use Tiny Toons and Animaniacs how can anyone be suprised the show is awesome. So lets get ready to get our freak on so with that I say FREAK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let us start this tale the humble beginnings of teenager Dexter Douglas who was a nerd and a computer ace. One day he went surfing on the Internet and he was zapped into cyber space. He then turned into the Freakazoid who is strong and super quick he seems to drive the villains crazy because he is a lunatic. So does that make his origin crystal clear? No well thats ok its just part of the theme song. So here is the real origin which of course comes in the first episode right? WRONG YOU STUPID PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow I am sorry about that. No the origin is explained in episode six because that makes sense right??? Well silly billy goat in this show making sense is not very important. So in the Chip part 1 we find out about this flawed computer chip that is a special sequence is punched in ("@[=g3,8d]\&fbb=-q]/hk%fg" starting with the quotes and ending with hitting the delete key) will suck someone into the internet. I have tried and sadly it doesn't work I mean what could go wrong if I had super strength speed and all of the knowledge of the internet that can't end badly right? Any who Dexter Douglas is given this defective chip for Christmas and instantly installs it into his computer. When his cat walks on the key board typing the sequence. When Dexter sees this he presses delete and is zapamafacated into the internet. This turns him into Freakazoid with the ability to do basically what ever his twisted little mind thinks up. So Freakazoid is all the cats fault and it should feel bad and stuff. Also some behind the scenes origin Freakazoid was originally going to be designed by Bruce Timm the man behind Batman The Animated Series. He was going to base Freakazoid off of one of my favorite minor characters in his Batman cartoon named the Creeper. Even though I think that would have been awesome it would not have been the Freakazoid I know in love. However if a show was made around Timm's version of the Creeper I would be "Happier then a tornado in a trailer park" (Mikey Hodges). Ok it shouldn't because there are plenty of baddies for Freakazoid to beat up.
Now all good heroes need good villains and Freak has a lot of them. Yes I know this article is about Freakazoid but it is also the name of the show so I am going to talk about other people as well if you don't like it then.......you can continue to not like it. So lets start off with the villains and a short bio.
The Lobe: The lobe is a man like thing ok he is human but his head is a missive brain. Its not someone with a big head and a brain inside of it his brain is his head. He is super smart, has low self esteem, and a rather good singer. Sometimes he can be defeated by someone simply insulting him saying his plan is stupid even though it is brilliant.
Candle Jack: He is a rather cool character who is a ghost who will capture anyone who says his name. Candle Jack is actually rather well known despite the fact that he isn't in many episodes. In one episode "The Island of Dr. Mystico" Jack spends the whole episode scaring Freakazoid's butler the Professor.
Those are just the two of my favorite bad guys I also love Officer Mike Cossgrove of the police force. He is a really funny character with a monotone voice and a really stupid but effective catch phrase. He has to be one of the best cops on the force because all he has to do is tell a criminal to "Cut it out" and they will stop. Which they actually show on an episode with a cops parody. He is a great character brilliantly voiced as well as really really really really funny.
"Now I think its time for a word from our sponsors."
"Sorry typing man no sponsors here all we have his more magic words so READ THEM AND MAKE ME A SANDWICH!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Now back to our regular program"
So yes back to Freakazoid the guy who this article is about. He is completely crazy some people even say his brain has a chocolate molding. I think it is accurate I mean to run all the way to Tibet because a racking monk is making so much noise that it was driving him insane. Then running back there just to apologize. He prevented World War II from happening when he dressed up as a security gard and stopped all of the Japanese bombers from attacking Pearl Harbor by saying he is searching for fruits and torpedos and the planes retreat. Freakazoid has dealt with smart cave men, orangumen, Giant snakes, Aliens, ghosts, monsters, and even love. Facing each problem with courage and without getting distracted.....ok maybe a little distracted. Cosgrove keeps asking him to do something and he does it.
So with this I leave the story of our greatest hero Freakazoid. He is a blue skinned wacky man and I love him for it. His jokes and crossovers with Pinky and the Brain as well as Wakko Warner arguing about which show is Stephens favorite Freakazoid claiming he had a memo. So thats Freakazoid in a nut shell
Cosgrove: "Hey Andy"
Me: "Oh hey Cosgrove"
Cosgrove: "What you up to"
Me: "Just finishing this articel"
Cosgrove: "Want to get a snow cone"
Me: "DO I EVER ummmmmmmm bye peoples"
Let us start this tale the humble beginnings of teenager Dexter Douglas who was a nerd and a computer ace. One day he went surfing on the Internet and he was zapped into cyber space. He then turned into the Freakazoid who is strong and super quick he seems to drive the villains crazy because he is a lunatic. So does that make his origin crystal clear? No well thats ok its just part of the theme song. So here is the real origin which of course comes in the first episode right? WRONG YOU STUPID PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow I am sorry about that. No the origin is explained in episode six because that makes sense right??? Well silly billy goat in this show making sense is not very important. So in the Chip part 1 we find out about this flawed computer chip that is a special sequence is punched in ("@[=g3,8d]\&fbb=-q]/hk%fg" starting with the quotes and ending with hitting the delete key) will suck someone into the internet. I have tried and sadly it doesn't work I mean what could go wrong if I had super strength speed and all of the knowledge of the internet that can't end badly right? Any who Dexter Douglas is given this defective chip for Christmas and instantly installs it into his computer. When his cat walks on the key board typing the sequence. When Dexter sees this he presses delete and is zapamafacated into the internet. This turns him into Freakazoid with the ability to do basically what ever his twisted little mind thinks up. So Freakazoid is all the cats fault and it should feel bad and stuff. Also some behind the scenes origin Freakazoid was originally going to be designed by Bruce Timm the man behind Batman The Animated Series. He was going to base Freakazoid off of one of my favorite minor characters in his Batman cartoon named the Creeper. Even though I think that would have been awesome it would not have been the Freakazoid I know in love. However if a show was made around Timm's version of the Creeper I would be "Happier then a tornado in a trailer park" (Mikey Hodges). Ok it shouldn't because there are plenty of baddies for Freakazoid to beat up.
Now all good heroes need good villains and Freak has a lot of them. Yes I know this article is about Freakazoid but it is also the name of the show so I am going to talk about other people as well if you don't like it then.......you can continue to not like it. So lets start off with the villains and a short bio.
The Lobe: The lobe is a man like thing ok he is human but his head is a missive brain. Its not someone with a big head and a brain inside of it his brain is his head. He is super smart, has low self esteem, and a rather good singer. Sometimes he can be defeated by someone simply insulting him saying his plan is stupid even though it is brilliant.
Candle Jack: He is a rather cool character who is a ghost who will capture anyone who says his name. Candle Jack is actually rather well known despite the fact that he isn't in many episodes. In one episode "The Island of Dr. Mystico" Jack spends the whole episode scaring Freakazoid's butler the Professor.
Those are just the two of my favorite bad guys I also love Officer Mike Cossgrove of the police force. He is a really funny character with a monotone voice and a really stupid but effective catch phrase. He has to be one of the best cops on the force because all he has to do is tell a criminal to "Cut it out" and they will stop. Which they actually show on an episode with a cops parody. He is a great character brilliantly voiced as well as really really really really funny.
"Now I think its time for a word from our sponsors."
"Sorry typing man no sponsors here all we have his more magic words so READ THEM AND MAKE ME A SANDWICH!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Now back to our regular program"
So yes back to Freakazoid the guy who this article is about. He is completely crazy some people even say his brain has a chocolate molding. I think it is accurate I mean to run all the way to Tibet because a racking monk is making so much noise that it was driving him insane. Then running back there just to apologize. He prevented World War II from happening when he dressed up as a security gard and stopped all of the Japanese bombers from attacking Pearl Harbor by saying he is searching for fruits and torpedos and the planes retreat. Freakazoid has dealt with smart cave men, orangumen, Giant snakes, Aliens, ghosts, monsters, and even love. Facing each problem with courage and without getting distracted.....ok maybe a little distracted. Cosgrove keeps asking him to do something and he does it.
So with this I leave the story of our greatest hero Freakazoid. He is a blue skinned wacky man and I love him for it. His jokes and crossovers with Pinky and the Brain as well as Wakko Warner arguing about which show is Stephens favorite Freakazoid claiming he had a memo. So thats Freakazoid in a nut shell
Cosgrove: "Hey Andy"
Me: "Oh hey Cosgrove"
Cosgrove: "What you up to"
Me: "Just finishing this articel"
Cosgrove: "Want to get a snow cone"
Me: "DO I EVER ummmmmmmm bye peoples"
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
My Thoughts on: Impmon
If you didn't already know that I was a geek then you do now. Yes I was one of the kids who grew up watching shows like Pokemon and Digimon and you know what I loved them. However this is going to be about a little Digimon from the third season of the show (Digimon Tamers.) Now if any of you "The English Dub Sucks" people feel like complaining about the fact that I don't know anything about the Japanese version then you can just sit silently. I never knew anything about the Japanese version and I don't really feel like learning anything about it. Okay now I recently watched all of the episodes of Digimon I could find on youtube which took me up to Digimon Data Squad which I was just fine with not seeing that one.
So this is about one Digimon named Impmon and if you know the series then your probably thinking
"Andy you egotistical hunk of sexyness he wasn't even a major character until the middle of the season."
I would then say. "Shut up and make me a sandwich"
So sit silently and learn before I Digivolve into Ultra Andymon and step on you.
So Impmon is one of the most human like digimon in this series. He has a very humanlike appearance as well as attitude. He likes to act all tough and thinks very highly about himself despite his small size and low power level. Impmon is a very interesting character from the beginning because you know very little about him. You can tell he doesn't like the digimon who team up and work with humans and just seems to have ill feelings towards all humans. He will often cause problems for humans by attacking them randomly in attempts to scare them. He starts to form a love hate relationship with a digimon named Renamon. He seems to love her personality and style but hates the fact that she is a "slave" to a human.
Impmon was always envious of the "tamed" digimon because they can digivolve (change to the next more powerful form) and Impmon could not. He always wanted to digivolve but with out a tamer he could not. When the Deva's (The Deva "Twelve Heavenly Generals" are a group of twelve Ultimate-level Holy Beast Digimon that are derived from the Buddhist myth of the Twelve Heavenly Generals, deities who protected the Bhaiṣajyaguru. The Twelve Heavenly Generals were eventually conflated with the animals of the Chinese zodiac in Japanese Buddhism, and so the Deva are represent those figures. The Deva are followers of the Digimon Sovereigns, and each Sovereign has three Deva subordinates.) start to attack the Japan in search of a digimon named Calumon (who is the key to digivolution) Impmon decides he was going to battle the giant horse Deva named Indramon. The Deva is very vain and thinks he is the best thing since sliced bread which Impmon uses to his advantage by insulting him. However with Impmon only being a rookie level digimon and the Deva being super mega awesome powerful (I think I stated the Deva's Levels above but don't feel like checking.) Needless to say little Impmon got the snot kicked out of him but he never gave up and would not let the others help him. After the battle he was severely injured both in body and in mind. His ego crushed he wished he could be stronger and wanted to digivolve when a voice beckoned him into the Digital World. Where he would be given the power to Digivole if he destroyed the Tamers and their Digimon. Now this is where the main story of Impmon ends but the story of Beelzemon begins.
Beelzemon is the Mega form of Impmon and he is so freaking Awesome. Beelzemon is a play on the name Beelzebub which is synonymous with the devil. Beelzemon looks very human in this form having a human shaped body and even wearing a biker style outfit. He connects even farther with the human theme by having a shot gun he can use for his attacks as well as being in possession of a motorcycle. Which we see him get this in the most kick ass way driving it out of a pool of lava that it was thrown in after causing havok on with its cursed rider. He has about three non human characteristics a third eye and a tail.
Beelzemon showed he earned his devil like name by obliterating a bunch of Digimon just because he had the power to do so. He was then told to up hold his side of the bargain by attacking the Tamers and their partners. In one of there battles with the Tamers he committed one of the darkest acts seen in this type of show, He killed a main character named Leomon who was the beast king and partner to a girl named Juri Katou (Leomon has been established as a main character since season one and even though no other characters from previous seasons are around it is assumed that he is the origional Leomon because of the same voice and look.) He then absorbs Leomons Data deleting him and taking his power. Beelzemon even manages to single handedly destroy the monkey Deva (Literally with one hand) by grabbing his head and squeezing it until he was nothing but data which Beelzemon soon absorbs granting him the power of a Deva. Then when the Dog Deva attacks the Tamers Beelzemon lets them destroy the Dog before he took his data exclaiming "LONG LIVE THE DEVAS" as he takes the data. After a very long and hard fight Beelzemon is finally defeated but spared because Juri did not want to see any more people die even though she hated him for killing Leomon. The battle de-digivolved back into Impmon who is now incredibly weak. It will also lead us into Impmons next phase of development.
Impmon makes it back to the real world and really does feel bad about what he has done. He wishes he could make it up to Juri but first needs to see a couple kids. At this time the D-Reaper (a deletion program that has made its way from the digital world to the real world. Is destroying the world slowly. The D-Reaper has captured Juri and is using her to communicate. Impmon goes and visits a young boy and girl who turned out are his tamers. He ran away from them a while ago because all they did was fight over him. He went up to them and mushy words were exchanged leading for the boy to give Impmon his favorite toy gun after Impmon told them that he had to go fight the D-Reaper the boy hoped it would help him out. Impmon said I know it will kid as he digivolved into Beelzemon Blast Mode. Regaining the wings (Normal mode does not have wings) as well as the toy gun turning into a large arm mounted cannon. He then used this mode to attempt to free Juri from the D-Reaper even resorting to using Leomon's powerful move "Fist of the Beast King" hoping this would get Juri free but scares her more then anything. Beelzemon was then attacked by the D-Reaper almost ending in him getting deleted before being saved by one of the other Digimon. His data is starting to leave his body (Which means he is very close to death) and De-Digivolves back into Impmon. Once the D-Reaper is destroyed he asks for Juri's forgiveness even though he did not feel that he deserved it himself. However she did forgive him after seeing how hard he tried to save her. That is all from Impmon in this series until the movie based off this season came out but I haven't seen it.
Now I simply love Impmon his rough and tough attitude and his "Bada Boom" attack giving him a catch phrase that reminds me of a gangster. However his pure awesomness kicks in when he becomes Beelzemon and starts face squashing Devas. So those are my thought on Impmon and yes I am a geek.
So this is about one Digimon named Impmon and if you know the series then your probably thinking
"Andy you egotistical hunk of sexyness he wasn't even a major character until the middle of the season."
I would then say. "Shut up and make me a sandwich"
So sit silently and learn before I Digivolve into Ultra Andymon and step on you.
So Impmon is one of the most human like digimon in this series. He has a very humanlike appearance as well as attitude. He likes to act all tough and thinks very highly about himself despite his small size and low power level. Impmon is a very interesting character from the beginning because you know very little about him. You can tell he doesn't like the digimon who team up and work with humans and just seems to have ill feelings towards all humans. He will often cause problems for humans by attacking them randomly in attempts to scare them. He starts to form a love hate relationship with a digimon named Renamon. He seems to love her personality and style but hates the fact that she is a "slave" to a human.
Impmon was always envious of the "tamed" digimon because they can digivolve (change to the next more powerful form) and Impmon could not. He always wanted to digivolve but with out a tamer he could not. When the Deva's (The Deva "Twelve Heavenly Generals" are a group of twelve Ultimate-level Holy Beast Digimon that are derived from the Buddhist myth of the Twelve Heavenly Generals, deities who protected the Bhaiṣajyaguru. The Twelve Heavenly Generals were eventually conflated with the animals of the Chinese zodiac in Japanese Buddhism, and so the Deva are represent those figures. The Deva are followers of the Digimon Sovereigns, and each Sovereign has three Deva subordinates.) start to attack the Japan in search of a digimon named Calumon (who is the key to digivolution) Impmon decides he was going to battle the giant horse Deva named Indramon. The Deva is very vain and thinks he is the best thing since sliced bread which Impmon uses to his advantage by insulting him. However with Impmon only being a rookie level digimon and the Deva being super mega awesome powerful (I think I stated the Deva's Levels above but don't feel like checking.) Needless to say little Impmon got the snot kicked out of him but he never gave up and would not let the others help him. After the battle he was severely injured both in body and in mind. His ego crushed he wished he could be stronger and wanted to digivolve when a voice beckoned him into the Digital World. Where he would be given the power to Digivole if he destroyed the Tamers and their Digimon. Now this is where the main story of Impmon ends but the story of Beelzemon begins.
Beelzemon is the Mega form of Impmon and he is so freaking Awesome. Beelzemon is a play on the name Beelzebub which is synonymous with the devil. Beelzemon looks very human in this form having a human shaped body and even wearing a biker style outfit. He connects even farther with the human theme by having a shot gun he can use for his attacks as well as being in possession of a motorcycle. Which we see him get this in the most kick ass way driving it out of a pool of lava that it was thrown in after causing havok on with its cursed rider. He has about three non human characteristics a third eye and a tail.
Beelzemon showed he earned his devil like name by obliterating a bunch of Digimon just because he had the power to do so. He was then told to up hold his side of the bargain by attacking the Tamers and their partners. In one of there battles with the Tamers he committed one of the darkest acts seen in this type of show, He killed a main character named Leomon who was the beast king and partner to a girl named Juri Katou (Leomon has been established as a main character since season one and even though no other characters from previous seasons are around it is assumed that he is the origional Leomon because of the same voice and look.) He then absorbs Leomons Data deleting him and taking his power. Beelzemon even manages to single handedly destroy the monkey Deva (Literally with one hand) by grabbing his head and squeezing it until he was nothing but data which Beelzemon soon absorbs granting him the power of a Deva. Then when the Dog Deva attacks the Tamers Beelzemon lets them destroy the Dog before he took his data exclaiming "LONG LIVE THE DEVAS" as he takes the data. After a very long and hard fight Beelzemon is finally defeated but spared because Juri did not want to see any more people die even though she hated him for killing Leomon. The battle de-digivolved back into Impmon who is now incredibly weak. It will also lead us into Impmons next phase of development.
Impmon makes it back to the real world and really does feel bad about what he has done. He wishes he could make it up to Juri but first needs to see a couple kids. At this time the D-Reaper (a deletion program that has made its way from the digital world to the real world. Is destroying the world slowly. The D-Reaper has captured Juri and is using her to communicate. Impmon goes and visits a young boy and girl who turned out are his tamers. He ran away from them a while ago because all they did was fight over him. He went up to them and mushy words were exchanged leading for the boy to give Impmon his favorite toy gun after Impmon told them that he had to go fight the D-Reaper the boy hoped it would help him out. Impmon said I know it will kid as he digivolved into Beelzemon Blast Mode. Regaining the wings (Normal mode does not have wings) as well as the toy gun turning into a large arm mounted cannon. He then used this mode to attempt to free Juri from the D-Reaper even resorting to using Leomon's powerful move "Fist of the Beast King" hoping this would get Juri free but scares her more then anything. Beelzemon was then attacked by the D-Reaper almost ending in him getting deleted before being saved by one of the other Digimon. His data is starting to leave his body (Which means he is very close to death) and De-Digivolves back into Impmon. Once the D-Reaper is destroyed he asks for Juri's forgiveness even though he did not feel that he deserved it himself. However she did forgive him after seeing how hard he tried to save her. That is all from Impmon in this series until the movie based off this season came out but I haven't seen it.
Now I simply love Impmon his rough and tough attitude and his "Bada Boom" attack giving him a catch phrase that reminds me of a gangster. However his pure awesomness kicks in when he becomes Beelzemon and starts face squashing Devas. So those are my thought on Impmon and yes I am a geek.
Monday, August 16, 2010
My Thoughts on: Dr. Cox
Now Scrubs is one of my all time favorite television shows. Its writing is genius, the jokes are hilarious, the flash backs are the best, and the characters are jus fantastic. I have two characters featured in my list and like the title says this is going to be about Dr. Cox. In my opinion Cox is one of my favorites. It doesn't matter what he is saying I still like it. I also like the actor who plays Perry Cox named John C. McGinley. John has acted in a number a movies but he is not the point of the article this is about the character Dr. Cox. So sit down you Nancy's and read this.
Dr. Percival "Perry" Ulysses Cox will also refer to himself as Jesus H. Cox MD. which is a very accurate nick name for him seeing as he is the best Doctor on the Sacred Heart Staff. Dr. Cox is egotistical, narcissistic, sarcastic, sociopath, and a loveable drunk. I actually wrote a paper for an assignment in my high school creative writing class about Scrubs focusing on Dr. Cox call "The Ones Who Drink Alone" This paper had a double meaning not just about people drinking but also about loneliness. This paper took three characters from Scrubs Dr. Cox, JD, and Ted and why they were so lonely.
Dr. Cox is the head honcho, the chief, the big cheese, and the Chief of Medicine at Sacred Heart Hospital. He was promoted to Chief after Dr. Bob Kelso retired and Dr. Maddox was fired being worse then Kelso. From there Cox started teaching at Winston University. Dr. Cox has very interesting relationships with the people he deals with on a daily basis. I will talk about the relationships with the main characters as well as other things about the Coxer.
Dr. Cox has a family with a "wife" and two kids. Now I put the quotes around wife because Jordan and Dr. Cox are divorced but they live together and do love each other. Since the Divorce they have had two kids together a son named Jack and a daughter named Jennifer Dylan (aka JD.) Jordan and Dr. Cox have a very interesting relationship in the fact that they are exactly alike. Jordan a Perry complement each other perfectly (personality wise) they also insult each other perfectly. To most people it seems that they hate each other but in reality it is the opposite. Now Jack is just a young boy but he has delivered some of the funniest lines. Like "I pooped in my bed and I put it on the TV." and "Man Check" after saying this he punches his dad in the balls and runs back to mommy who said he did a good job. Cox always hates it when someone calls his daughter JD and was a little upset at Jordan for giving her the name (JD suggested it.)
Now he also has strange relationships with his co-workers so let us start with John Dorian. JD has always seen Dr. Cox as a mentor much to the annoyance of Perry. He has never seen JD as an equal until JD left the hospital at the end of the season eight. Cox often demeans JD by calling him a girls name and even female dog names. He has been called names from Nancy to Lassie. Cox often rants at JD expressing how much he does not care about what he has to say. He will help JD sometimes having a lesson in his rants and speeches but will usually challenge JD to do better. He know JD has great potential and goes as far as to say He believes him to be the best doctor to go through the hospital because of how much he cared and that he was not only an extraordinary physician but also an extraordinary person.
Elliot Reid is a person that Dr. Cox can not stand to him she is a dumb blond. He calls her Barbie because of her blond hair and bubble headed nature. She used to be afraid of Dr. Cox but got over him and turning to him for help with Dr. Kelso. The two of them were never close because he was often a jerk to her. However when Elliot decided to become privet practice Dr. Cox started having a huge problem with her calling her a sell out.
Turk and Dr. Cox constantly seem to have a pissing contest. They are trying to out man each other when playing sports as well as working out. Both of them have huge egos that often conflict. Turk is the best surgeon at Sacred Heart but Dr. Cox hates surgeons calling the Cutters only wanting to slice and dice patients. However him and Turk started growing closer and are the only origional character still on the show.
Carla is someone that Dr. Cox has a huge crush on however she is married to Turk. Which is one of the problems Cox always had with Turk. However that vanished as Jordan and him got closer. Carla have been friends for a long time and is one of the few people who he will share things with. She is the only one who he can talk to about things with.
Dr. Kelso was Cox's superior the whole time Cox worked at the hospital. They two of the constantly butt heads when it comes to hospital policy. Cox always thought that Kelso was a cheap ass tight wad who is either the spawn of Satan or Satan himself. However after Kelso retired and Dr. Cox became the new Chief of Medicine he realized the Kelso's job required him to make the tough unpopular decisions that are in the best interest of the hospital. The two of them became close friends and now actually hang out.
Dr. Cox has a long list of things he dislike often stating them in one of his rants. So here is a list of all the thing Dr. Cox does not like.
* J.D.
* Hugh Jackman
* Receiving help from others in any form
* Dane Cook ("My House")
* Being given nicknames by complete strangers
* Republicans
* The Republican National Convention
* Hope Floats
* Being wrong
* Emotions
* Religion
* Shrinks
* Losing patients
* The Big Discussions
* Anyone who adds "izzle" to any word.
* Private practice doctors ("My Friend with Money")
* Everything in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions
* People who say the phrase "Let's rock and roll" or "I have to rock and roll"
* The name Perry
* People who wear their hands-free phones while not using them
* People who call Wednesday "Humpday" ("My Big Brother")
* All Sandra Bullock movies ("My Big Brother")
* Low carb diets
* High def TV
* Wireless hot spots
* The United Nations
* Getting Punk'd
* The Latin Grammys
* The real Grammys
* Jeff, that darn Wiggle that sleeps too much
* The Yankee's payroll
* All the red states
* All the blue states
* Michael Moore
* The Bush daughters
* Kabbalah, and all Kabbalah-related products
* People not listening to what he has to say
* Dermatologists
* Every Hybrid Car
* Every Talkshow Host
* Everything on the planet
* Everything in the solar system
* Everything
* The term "Back in the day" being used by young people. ("My ABC's")
* Being touched.
* People calling his daughter J.D.
So as you can see Dr. Cox does not like a lot of things but there are other things he likes so here is another list.
* Scotch on the rocks
* Sports (Detroit Red Wings, Pittsburgh Steelers)
* Giving rants
* Working out (Especially those that involve abs)
* Lindsay Lohan
* The "Welcome Back, Coxer" shirt ("My Déjà vu, My Déjà vu")
* Lee Marvin Movies
* Jerome Bettis
* The gays; their music, their sense of style, what they've done with Halloween
* He used to like to hike but Jordan got that in the divorce ("My Occurrence")
* Being referred to by certain names such as "Big Cheese," "Chief Dr. Cox" or "Dr. Professor Cox."
*Drew
* His thesaurus
* Flicking the dead
The lists are from Scrubs Wiki. Now like I said I love Dr. Cox he is a lot of fun to watch and listen to. His rants are entertaining as well as interesting to listen to. His character is so much fun everything from the way he talks and acts. So those are my thoughts on Dr. Perry Cox.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Legend of Zelda Files: Error
Disclaimer the things in this article are fictional done for fun. It is not actually in a game just based loosely off of a game in the Legend of Zelda Universe. So sit down shut up and enjoy it.
Now people might know Error from The Legend of Zelda II the Adventure of Link. He is famous for spouting his famous line I am Error. When you see him again he will say something completely different however what you may not know that second guy was not the real Error. It was Error's clone Larry (yes cloning exists). Error was to depressed to continue with the making of the game. The line I am Error is filled with pain and sadness. So let us get into this depressing story and the background of the man known only as Error.
Now the real Error had a rough life starting with the unfortunate name. He had a very rough home life and was not shown much love. I managed to get a hold of Error for an interview at his home in Ruto. Error no longer has the ability to communicate due to has mental state and a translator is provided so I can understand him.
Me: "Mr. Error thank you for allowing me to come here and talk to you."
Error via translator: "It is now problem Andy it is about time I get this off my chest"
Me: "Well Error why don't you tell me about your child hood and the name?"
Error: : "Well it all started when I was a kid. My parents were constantly fighting and we never had much money. My parents loved my sister and brother so much more then me. Well my parents named me Error because that is what I was to them. I was an Error they never wanted me as a child."
Me: "I am sorry to hear that its just awful"
Error: "Thanks but it doesn't matter anymore."
Me: "Well what led to your famous "I am Error" line in Legend of Zelda II?"
Error: "Well this is a difficult story but I feel I can talk about it now"
Me: "Thank you Error"
Error: "Well my life was full of bad luck or I guess you could call them "errors" however I thought I had fixed my bad luck when I met the girl of my dreams. He name was Maggie she had the most beautiful brown hair I have ever seen in my life. Blue eyes, brown hair, sweetest voice, and the biggest heart. We instantly feel in love and were married one year later. We had two beautiful daughter Mary and Beth. Yes I know its a stupid joke but they were the sweetest girls. How ever three years later my life had another "error". My Beautiful Maggie and I were up on the roof working when she asked me to pass her a hammer and andan......... I really can't talk about it. It just hurts to much but my Maggie ended up passing away and I went into a deep depression. I started to develop some sort of mental thing which slowly caused me to turn into what you see today. All I can say now is "I am Error" and because of my depression and my illness I was seen as an unfit parent and Mary and Beth were taken from me and now live with my brother Roger and his wife."
Me: "if it isn't to much to ask why were you replaced after you said your "I am Error" line.
Error: "Well at this point my illness had taken full effect I know longer could say anything other then "I am Error" I was unable to get this across and when it came to saying the first line everyone loved it but when it came to the second they wanted me to stop fooling around. They soon realized that was all I could say they fired me.
Me: "I don't think that is legal to fire you for that"
Error: "Its not I was going to sue them for wrongful termination but I did not have the money to do it."
Me: "Error"
Error: "pleas don't call me that any more call me Frank"
Me: "Okay Frank thank you for sharing your sad story I wish you all the luck in the world and any help I can offer.
Me: "Thank you for sharing your story Frank"
That interview was filmed a year ago and life has been getting better for him slightly. He has been able to reconnect with his Kids and life has gone on. So that is the sad story of the man once know as Error. I hope you will join us next time on "The Legend of Zelda Files"
Now people might know Error from The Legend of Zelda II the Adventure of Link. He is famous for spouting his famous line I am Error. When you see him again he will say something completely different however what you may not know that second guy was not the real Error. It was Error's clone Larry (yes cloning exists). Error was to depressed to continue with the making of the game. The line I am Error is filled with pain and sadness. So let us get into this depressing story and the background of the man known only as Error.
Now the real Error had a rough life starting with the unfortunate name. He had a very rough home life and was not shown much love. I managed to get a hold of Error for an interview at his home in Ruto. Error no longer has the ability to communicate due to has mental state and a translator is provided so I can understand him.
Me: "Mr. Error thank you for allowing me to come here and talk to you."
Error via translator: "It is now problem Andy it is about time I get this off my chest"
Me: "Well Error why don't you tell me about your child hood and the name?"
Error: : "Well it all started when I was a kid. My parents were constantly fighting and we never had much money. My parents loved my sister and brother so much more then me. Well my parents named me Error because that is what I was to them. I was an Error they never wanted me as a child."
Me: "I am sorry to hear that its just awful"
Error: "Thanks but it doesn't matter anymore."
Me: "Well what led to your famous "I am Error" line in Legend of Zelda II?"
Error: "Well this is a difficult story but I feel I can talk about it now"
Me: "Thank you Error"
Error: "Well my life was full of bad luck or I guess you could call them "errors" however I thought I had fixed my bad luck when I met the girl of my dreams. He name was Maggie she had the most beautiful brown hair I have ever seen in my life. Blue eyes, brown hair, sweetest voice, and the biggest heart. We instantly feel in love and were married one year later. We had two beautiful daughter Mary and Beth. Yes I know its a stupid joke but they were the sweetest girls. How ever three years later my life had another "error". My Beautiful Maggie and I were up on the roof working when she asked me to pass her a hammer and andan......... I really can't talk about it. It just hurts to much but my Maggie ended up passing away and I went into a deep depression. I started to develop some sort of mental thing which slowly caused me to turn into what you see today. All I can say now is "I am Error" and because of my depression and my illness I was seen as an unfit parent and Mary and Beth were taken from me and now live with my brother Roger and his wife."
Me: "if it isn't to much to ask why were you replaced after you said your "I am Error" line.
Error: "Well at this point my illness had taken full effect I know longer could say anything other then "I am Error" I was unable to get this across and when it came to saying the first line everyone loved it but when it came to the second they wanted me to stop fooling around. They soon realized that was all I could say they fired me.
Me: "I don't think that is legal to fire you for that"
Error: "Its not I was going to sue them for wrongful termination but I did not have the money to do it."
Me: "Error"
Error: "pleas don't call me that any more call me Frank"
Me: "Okay Frank thank you for sharing your sad story I wish you all the luck in the world and any help I can offer.
Me: "Thank you for sharing your story Frank"
That interview was filmed a year ago and life has been getting better for him slightly. He has been able to reconnect with his Kids and life has gone on. So that is the sad story of the man once know as Error. I hope you will join us next time on "The Legend of Zelda Files"
Thursday, August 12, 2010
My Thoughts on: Scooby Doo and Shaggy Rodgers
I felt like these two needed a little love and since they were big in my childhood I had to include them as one of the ten favorite cartoon and tv characters. Now this is not a top ten list as I originally was thinking. There were just so many character I love so I am sure I will be doing this again later on. Now if you haven't heard of these two gluttonous clown then you have been been in cryogenic suspension since the 70's (Which I don't think they knew how to do that back then.) So grab a box of Scooby Snacks and maybe a triple decker super sub sandwich as we take a big bit into My Thoughts on: Scooby Doo and Shaggy Rodgers.
Now this is going to be simple I am going to analyze both characters and tell you why I love them and who better to start with then Scooby Doo. Now Scooby is the character the show is named after and for good reason I mean if I had a talking Great Dane in some sort of show I would make him the star. So a little back ground Scooby (Scoobert) Doo was born in the Knittingham Puppy Farm and was then bought by Shaggy Rodgers which made the dynamic duo I am now writing about. Now Scooby can talk (for some reason) and often adds "R's" to his words like Ra Ro instead of Uh Oh. Scooby as also a huge coward constantly running from the ghosts and monsters they are investigating. However this usually works to the teams favor running into the monster or ghost and trapping them allowing them to unmask the bad guys.
Shaggy Rodgers was born in late July with his real name being Norville "Shaggy" Rodgers. Shaggy is a Hippie no other ways to say it he looks like a Hippie, he sounds like a hippie, and he acts like a hippie which is just fine because he was created in the hippie era. Shaggy like Scooby is also a big coward and has the odd tendencie to eat Scooby Snacks (dog treats.) After eating these treats Shaggy will become braver and do things he would not usually do. Now this is the same for Scooby but a dog eating dog treats isn't strange at all. Shaggy has owned Scooby since he was just a kid (The live action "Scooby Doo the mystery begins states they met when Shaggy was a older teen.) In a Pup Named Scooby do it was shown (and made cannon) that Scooby and Shaggy were together at a young age.
Now besides the the cowardice they share one trait and that is they are huge gluttons. Now for the people that don't know what that is it is someone who eats a lot. By some sort of imaginary magic the two never gain any weight. Food jokes are often used in episodes where Shaggy makes something huge like a mega sandwich or ice cream Sunday how ever Scooby often eats in a comical way like sucking it like a vacuum or catching it as Shaggy throws it together. It also seems that in every place there is a kitchen full of food. However you would think that food in an abandoned/run down/haunted building the food probably not be to good.
Another shared trait is there cosplaying abilities. They take the the Bugs Bunny approach of escaping by dressing up in costumes and tricking the monster and distracting him. They have been a number of things from artists, cave people, and shop owners. How the monster is stupid enough to fall for these jokes of these people in this abandoned building but it was really funny. They also used this disguise thing as a ending gag when Scooby puts on the monsters mask scaring Shaggy and the others.
Now why did I love these two well how could someone not like them. They were funny, scared, and strange which makes them really relatable. The mysteries they went on and had a huge hand in solving them were a lot of fun to watch and even with the original show being from the 60's it still translates well today and has many incarnations none of which are better then the original but all of them are pretty good. So Scooby Doo and Shaggy are two of my favorite cartoon characters of all time and I am glad I had them in my childhood.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
New Feature
I am going to start a new feature for articles called the Legend of Zelda files.
I will look at one character or enemy in the Legend of Zelda universe and go into
detail about it as well as conduct interviews with it so stay tuned because I will be
getting the first one up as soon as possible
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